Blossom and Burn

Chapter 18: We are never happening

As laughter filled the pool area, I couldn't shake the unease creeping into my mind. Watching my friends interact with her, seeing how effortlessly they welcomed her into our circle, I felt a knot form in the pit of my stomach.

I had hoped that if atleast my friends unlike my family didn't like her as much, it would make it easier for me to keep my distance, give me a reason enough to maintain the facade of indifference I had for her or was pretending to. But their genuine fondness for her only proved to deepen my frustration.

Each genuine smile directed her way, every shared joke and moment of their forming bond, felt like another brick in the wall I had built around my heart. I told myself it was for her own good, that I was protecting her from the inevitable pain of getting attached to someone like me.

And besides I don't even know our future, in that case I can't have her be so close to my family and friends cause if they get so fond of her, it would only hurt them in future if we decide to part ways like I offered her.

She always manages to speak to something deep within me - a part of myself I had long forgotten existed.

And that frustrated me even more, who the hell is she to unravel the carefully constructed walls I had built around my heart, exposing the raw, fragile emotions I had buried deep within in such a short span of time.

Everything was going so well until I met her and now my emotions are all over the place in such a way that I can't even grab a hold of them.

As much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, there is something within her that keeps pulling me in. It terrified me, this vulnerability, this longing for something more.

So I did what I always did when faced with uncertainty - I decided to push her away.

Others came to drop her her off till the door and insisted on coming outside, but I assured them to accompany her, so they went back to give us some time alone.

As we stepped out of the house, I let my mask slip away the urge to do something I would probably regret growing in me. It frustrated me how much I was thinking of not letting her go alone and drop her home safely. I clenched my jaw, and balled my hands into fists at my sides.

Why the hell did she come alone when she knew that it would be dark by the time she returns. I only got to know after I talked to Uncle a few minutes before and I assured him, I will myself drop her home safely.

Why is she so careless.

"What's wrong?" She must have felt the tension as she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

I turned to face her, my expression twisted with anger and frustration. "You," I spat, my words dripping with venom. "You and your damn ability to charm everyone you meet."

What the hell Veer? You are going to regret this, Don't.

I decided to ignore my conscience.

"I-I don't understand," she stammered, visibly shocked at my sudden outburst.

I scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. "Of course you don't," I muttered, running a hand through my hair in frustration.

"You're so blind to the effect you have on people, so oblivious to the chaos you leave in your wake."

"I-I didn't mean to," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the roar of her racing thoughts.

I shook my head, a mirthless smile playing at the corners of my lips. "That's the problem," I said, my voice laced with bitterness. "You don't even realize the damage you're capable of inflicting."