It's not you it's me

Chapter 17

*Alice's P.O.V.*

I sat there hands on my face sobbing like a little girl. I know I was the one who told him to leave but what else could I do ? I couldn't let him fall for me I'm a mess I mean nothing to anyone I can't mean something to him I can't allow it. But he was the only one to treat me in a way that I never knew even existed in this world. It felt good but I'm not allowed to feel I made an oath to myself that I will not get close to anyone because my life is fucked up and I'm a bigger fuck up but yet here I am letting this guy get to me letting him enter my life.

I groaned and wiped the tears away. Why couldn't he just leave me in the park? He could've continued with his life and I would've been a stranger to him still.

But then you wouldn't have someone to love. I sit there letting those words sink in. Do I love him ? How can I love when I don't even know how to? I let out a sign and stared at the door.

Maybe he'll come back...and we can fix this. My conscious speaks again and I shake my head at her disagreeing.

No I don't think he'll come back I told him to leave me alone I pushed him away I doubt he would even consider it,I say to her.

You never know. She said back shrugging

I laid my head against my pillow fighting with my conscious only because she's half right I mean he might come back but yet he may not. I close my eyes and try to relax the headache that's beginning to start and soon I drift into a deep slumber.

I'm not sure how long I've been asleep but I know that when I open my eyes I see someone opening my door, three doctors walk in one of them was the nurse with the red hair and the other two were men. One looked like he could be in his early 20s, grey eyes strong jaw tall pink lips in other words he was hot. The other doctor looked older maybe in his 40s, he had hazel eyes and you can see some grey hairs on his hair he was tall also. I smiled at them and sat up.

"How are you feeling honey?" the nurse with the red hair asked me, I looked at her name tag, it read "Emily".

"I'm okay I guess I'm just tired even though I just woke up" I said with a small smile

"Alice this is Doctor Shaun." Emily says while pointing at the older guy, he smiles."And this is Doctor Wilson " she points at the younger one, he waves a little and looks down. I smiled at them both.

" Are you feeling better ?" Doctor Shaun asked me while moving to the left side of the bed. I cleared my throat and spoke " better than I was before actually, my head hurts a bit and my arms just sting a little"

"Well" said Doctor Wilson " you did cut yourself pretty deep and the lack of blood that you had is probably causing you to get minor headaches, as for your arms well you know" he said with a side smile.

"I'll be back with some food and a drink "said Emily as she walked out of the room. I leaned my head back and let out a shaky breath the light in this room was hurting my head, I just wanted to go home already even though he was probably there I didn't care I just wanted my bed.

"Alice" someone said making me open my eyes, did I fall asleep? I looked at the person in front of me, it was Emily.

"Did I fall asleep?" I asked confused

"Yes honey you might have passed out because you're dehydrated you lost a lot of blood and your body is beginning to recover" she said while fixing my bed sheet and making my bed move upwards," here, I brought you your food eat up and when you're done press this button and I will come to pick up your tray" I said my thank you's and began eating my food.

She brought me a sandwich with some juice and fruit on the side. I ate it all without hesitating, and yes you can say that I was hungry because I really was. As soon as I finished I laid my head back and relaxed, the headache was gone and I wasn't feeling bad at all I guess I was just hungry. I sighed and drifted off thinking about Skylar. I missed him but I can't bring him back I told him to leave me alone I wish I never said those words I was scared honestly very scared I'm not used to having people being there for me like at all. I might have overreacted but I can't have him in my life not when my life is a mess, I just wish he could come back and things would go back to normal but it won't and that is what breaks my heart knowing that I lost someone that I began to fall for. I rubbed my eyes trying to stop the tears from falling down, I decided to fall asleep.

I got comfortable and counted to a hundred soon I began drifting away into a dreamless slumber.

I heard my door open then close, but I was too lazy to open my eyes it was probably Emily picking up my tray so I didn't even bother to open them. But the door never opened again, I groggily opened my eyes and sat up slowly trying to adjust to the lighting in the room. I looked around the room but no one was there, strange I said to myself but jumped when my door opened and closed. My eyes grew big and my heart beat exhilarated.

"Hello daughter" he said with a evil smile "it's time to go home"