i regret telling you so much
i wrote you an encyclopaedia
about me
suspended in your fallacy i
named you the yin to my yang.
it seems in our ever changing world
i forgot nothing is eternal
i shoulda been glad to laugh with you
in a months short reprieve
for the smoothie king
and the inside jokes,
i am grateful.
already i sealed those delicate,
porcelain memories in my attic
they will survive the exodus.
i regret telling you so much
because the bits that say so much in so little
got lost in the jumble of rants and screams
flatten my layers to a grainy jpeg
point the finger at the weird boygirl
who's gone to enough therapy to know what gaslighting is
no, i am not deluded and removed from my actions
no, i am not malicious; perhaps a wrath to be strayed from but i exude no danger without a purpose
hypocrisy is the biggest sin on this fucker for you
what about when you come from a house
mahogany floors
voices rapid fire
criticism , deflection
and nothing but contradictions
besides my personal person-carousel
no one wants to be wrong
that anxiety-pit at the bottom of your stomach
is a horrible sensation
i can't fix me if you don't tell me what's wrong
i can't stop if you don't say the common, socially-agreed upon sage word
and i can't live in your world of mind-games
call me incompetent
i am aplomb
i won't cry in the downstairs bathroom over this
i'll play my madonna and
dress better,
do my own AP review
throw all of my focus into my bucket.
therapy taught me the divinity of
selfishness,
the power of i.
YOU ARE READING
An Enigma Is Too Much For A Cat To Eat
Poetrypoetry from the raw heart of a teenage girl. I wrote this poetry collection throughout my junior year of high school, when so much change was underneath the sun's aura. In and out of depression, in and out of the psych ward, I survived the first ha...
