You remind me just how badly I wish I could
fizzle earth's trauma to a slow boil
Take the warm baby peaches, european, from your cheeks
Flakes of you mustache
To become a cobbler
for Nothing bakes in a glacier
Earl grey, Paris Boy,
I know you're stuck somewhere in Antarctica
Not unlike an asylum in white emptiness
You see me unlike how boys see me
So when I say you're gay it's because
No arms of a straight man forms circles around my body
But yours do.
You brought me outside of myself
Sitting down to your lunch table, no serotonin to my name
You're so tall but I don't think you ever sleep, so I can't call you dreamy
Sometimes we sleepwalk into the same nightmare
Hopeless, grey world, buttercream icing made of water
Those blue eyes ice over like London
In those times
Let me be a sunny side up egg
Inside a glass of water with the lemon on the side
You're so buoyant when you're blue
Hold my hand, I'll anchor you
it wasn't a pill that made me stop dangling out of my window and hoping to collide
It was your warmth, as eternal as the ocean
Learning to love the smell of your car
Finding you, betraying you, disappointing you, hearing you
your voice is the most effective treatment for a grey, English sky
So when your body is near and your mind so far
I want nothing but to wrap a crochet sweater around you
And bring you into my arms
My sweetest lime,
Thank you for the gifts you've given me
Books, sage, a safe space
Your wisdom, your humor, your gratitude.
I love you dearly
I adore you queerly
I love you too much to leave you.
That's why I hate saying goodbye
Getting out of your Four Runner
I'm a deer in your headlights, fumbling for the keys to something that will never love me how you do
With you I am 17, no younger, no older
I'd follow you down the deep end of your pool
I know you'll never let me down.
YOU ARE READING
An Enigma Is Too Much For A Cat To Eat
Poesiapoetry from the raw heart of a teenage girl. I wrote this poetry collection throughout my junior year of high school, when so much change was underneath the sun's aura. In and out of depression, in and out of the psych ward, I survived the first ha...
