Lyssa's Poem Book

Sick

I'm sick of this environment I'm stuck in

It's too intense, too verbally violent

I'm sick of being told what I do and don't want

When you know damn well you can't read my mind

I'm sick of your false persona

And the way they think you're somebody sacred

I'm sick of you always acting like I'm the worst

And like somehow it's okay to tear me apart 

All I've ever done was fight with myself

Should I live to please you or to love myself?

The first is unrealistic, while the latter feels pathetic

It's what they say we all should do but it doesn't feel right

Maybe it's the trauma, I'm sure it's the fright

Making me feel like I have to disapprove

I have to disapprove of who I am on the inside

Right?

This is what you've taught me

This is where you want me to be

Drowning in a sea of self-hatred

And swimming in a pool of bitter lies

I've got to get away but I'm afraid I'll be abusing the abuser

Isn't that ridiculous?

I think I've turned into a shell and not a soul

It's because of you that I lost my motive

I can't believe this is happening

I thought I'd have it all figured out

But silently I'm crying

Hoping you'll throw me away before I let my anger sprout