Kira Modest

Chapter 2

For all five months, I was preparing for admission to Kyiv. My desire was so strong that I didn't even spend my free time going out with friends. This was difficult for me because I was used to doing anything but studying after school. It was impossible to force me. I don't even know what kind of wise upbringing and the right approach could have dealt with me. My parents were used to the fact that I decided everything myself, but still, they almost always unsuccessfully tried to make me follow their advice. I always made small silly mistakes, well, they seemed small and insignificant to me. Somehow, everyone always turned my minor blunders into a global problem, which greatly irritated and provoked me to do what I wanted even more. I always didn't care about my mistakes. I knew that I could fix everything anyway. So, I always made decisions quickly, without taking much time to weigh everything.

The main thing is not to kill anyone, this will definitely be irreparable. Hmm...yeah, daddy, it's irreparable. He has no right to point out my mistakes. Because all his actions in life and in business are a complete mistake. So why does he then point out my missteps? It's not fair! I will only listen to the person who has never screwed up himself.

In general, I prepared for exams day by day. For the first time in my life, I felt like a real bookworm, but I even enjoyed it. Because, after all, there is a small part of a "good, decent girl" in me sometimes. From whom did I genetically inherit that? I suppose, from my mom. She's so comfortable and soft. Obedient and loyal. A thin and understanding voice. When she starts talking, the soul instantly becomes calm. It's an excellent list of qualities that should be present in a woman for my father.

Therefore, when I do something for which I am praised, there's a slight squeeze inside of me. But this is a very pleasant feeling, as if every organ is being enveloped in some warm, tender slurry. And after that, at least for a few minutes, I stop feeling like a troublesome, difficult teenager.  

I went to the entrance exams with my brother. I love him so much for understanding me, for being someone I can talk to like a best friend.  And he is indeed my best friend. Roma always supports me and helps me, often defends me in front of my father. He knows my passion for motorcycles, knows how much I dream of having my own, and even enrolled me in courses so that I could learn to drive well.

We have just entered Kyiv, and I am already madly in love with this city. Wide, lengthy roads, I don't even have time to count the lanes because my eyes are running in different directions. They caught glimpses of speeding cars, tall glass buildings, enormous shopping centers with intriguing facades. There is just crazy traffic here, life is buzzing, and I get a real thrill out of watching it. Can't wait to dive into this rhythm myself. I feel like it's impossible to pick up the pace of a metropolis in a small town. And I love speed and everything connected with it, although I'm a bit scared.

It seems like we're nearing the location X on the map. My brain has given the command to look at everything that is near the university. Remember what each tree, bush and flower planted in a flower bed looks like. Why — I don't know. Perhaps out of excitement. Or maybe because of a sense of responsibility for myself and my life. After all, soon I might end up living in this city all alone, without my parents and brother. And I should know everything down to the smallest detail so as not to stumble and turn onto the wrong road.

"That's it. We've arrived. That's your university. Go chase your dream." Roma tells me, smiling. "I believe in you." He hugs me tightly, and this gives me even more confidence.

I get out of the car and go straight to the doors of the university. I don't notice people around me, my breathing is uneven. I only see the front door and supposedly the building itself in the background, out of focus. I grab the handle with my palm, strain my muscles and pull with difficulty this rectangular and rough plywood sheet with carvings along the entire perimeter. Ohh...I hope it won't be so hard to study here. I open it and look around excitedly, not quite understanding where to go. Some man notices me.