Kira Modest

Chapter 30

"Sir, please stop!"
The sound of doors crashing.
"I told you the room number not for you to burst in here!"
The voice grows louder.
"What's this? Is she unconscious!?"
"I can only provide information to relatives! Who are you!?"
"I'm her husband. I mean, the father. I mean, the father of her child. I mean, our child!" 
"Don't shout! The husband–father of the child!"
Doors crashing again.
"What's wrong with her?"
The voice becomes quieter. 
"Everything's fine. She should wake up soon after the surgery. The injuries weren't severe. She landed safely." 
"Surgery? What injuries? She's pregnant!" 
"Not anymore." 
"How..."
"She dislocated her hip during the fall. The sciatic nerve isn't damaged. The surgery went well. Additionally, there's a mild concussion, lots of bruises, and a sprained ankle on her left leg. You understand that miscarriages can occur with such injuries." 
"Miscarriage."
"But it didn't harm her health. The gestation was very early." 
Voices fade away. I hear nothing again. The sound of doors crashing somewhere in the distance. I feel my eyelids. They are very heavy. So dry. A dryness in my throat. I terribly want to drink. I feel tingling sensations in some places on my body. Very sharp. Then pain, and again tingling. My head hurts like never before. Such heaviness. It's as if a heavy blanket has been placed on top of me. The body feels like it's not mine.
It weighs twice as much as mine. Now I'm cold. Strong pain in the lower back. I begin to feel fabric on my body. I want to open my eyes. They feel like they weigh a ton. I weakly lift my eyelashes, and bright light seeps through to me. In the darkness, it was so comfortable. My eyes begin to burn and tear up. I weakly open them halfway and see a white wall in front of me.
I gently turn my head to the right and realize that I'm in the hospital. 
I'm in the hospital...
Because of him...
Because of the club...
Because of myself...
I come to my senses and begin to feel my breath, my body. I can move my arms and head, which is throbbing with pain. I feel my legs and back, but it hurts to move them. Fully opening my eyes and getting used to the bright light from the window, I begin to recall the panic that gripped my body for a few minutes. My inner screen shows me Edward's face, and I flinch. The same fear that crippled me flashes in my stomach, the fear I felt as I raced along the night road.
He wanted to kill me. To erase me from life for refusing. 'Not to give me even an hour before sunrise,' as he put it. And he almost did it. He nearly killed me, or rather, the spirit of the stripper in me. I'm still alive! Where did this club lead me? What happened to me? I almost said goodbye to life! Several times... Was it worth it? The money and compliments from men, boosting my self-esteem, were they worth it? No... But they were worth something else. Now it finally sank in for me. Apparently, I needed to really crash down hard on the asphalt with my whole body to understand what I seemed to have understood long ago but refused to accept. I want to go back home... This city has defeated me. I give up...
The white walls of the room begin to evoke a fear similar to the one Edward instilled. I still feel it. I'm still scared. I'm terrified... There's a shooting fear in the pit of my stomach. There's nothing threatening me here, but for some reason, I'm still afraid.
The room is empty. Why am I alone? Dad, Mom, Roma... Help me. It hurts. It hurts, and I'm scared. I want to see you. I want you to take care of me. 
I start to remember the conversation I heard in the darkness. Dislocation... concussion... miscarriage... Don't I have a baby anymore? But how... Now Andrey won't be with me, will he?
Is there nothing else connecting us? Do I even want anything to connect us? 
The doors open. I'm scared for a moment, it's Andrey.
"You've regained consciousness. How are you feeling?" It's the nurse.
Phew! It's not him. But how can he be here? He doesn't know anything yet. What will happen when he finds out? Will he be angry with me? I'm still afraid to see him. After all, I lost his baby... And almost lost myself. 
"Okay, just everything hurts." I respond weakly and very quietly.
"You shouldn't get up yet, but overall, you're in good condition. You'll recover very soon." She removes the catheter from my vein and takes off the IV drip. 
"Can I undergo rehabilitation in another city?" 
"If it's necessary, then yes, you can."
The nurse changes the vials on the IV drip and turns to me:
"There's a man in the corridor..." She pauses for a few seconds. "he claims to be the father of your child."
"Is he here?" I interrupt her, not letting her finish.
How did he find out where I am!? A flash of fear unexpectedly shoots through the bottom of my stomach.
"Yes. He's been sitting here the whole time. I can call him if you want." She takes a step toward the door, but I stop her.
"No, it's not necessary. Please, don't let him come to me."
"Well... alright." She responds.
"But I lost the baby, didn't I?!" I interrupt her again.
Maybe those voices were just a dream, and a living part of Andrey is still within me? She remains silent for a few seconds, trying to maintain composure and professionalism.
"Yes." The nurse replies shortly, trying to be professional and not succumb to sympathy for my situation.
I can't believe this. I've already come to terms with the idea that we are going to have a baby, and now it's just gone. It's not there anymore, as if it never existed. Why does all of this have to happen in my life?
You needed some medication, and we passed all the information to him while you were unconscious.
He knows everything... He's here and...
I'm so tired of all this. I just want to forget and go back to a normal life. Where everything is simple and clear. I just want to go home. To my own home.
"Where are my things?" Suddenly, I realize that I had a small backpack with me, and my phone was in there. 
"They're here, right here." She turns back and takes my backpack from the chair and separately hands me the phone.
Why isn't it inside? Who took it out?
"Thank you." I weakly raise my hand and take the phone from her.
It's so heavy.
"I want to call my family and be alone, to sleep. I really want to sleep." I say quietly.
"It's normal in your condition. Rest up." The nurse gives me a gentle smile and leaves the room.
"How is she?" Andrey's anxious voice barely reaches me from behind the door. 
"She's sleeping. You can't go in to see her right now. I'll let you know when she wakes up."
"Is she conscious!?" His tone is deeply concerned. 
"Yes. But you can't see her! Stay here!" The nurse firmly holds her ground, for which I'm very grateful.
"Wait, I want to speak with her attending physician." Andrey's voice fades, indicating he's gone after her.
I don't know what to expect from him. Perhaps he won't do anything wrong, but I'm ashamed to look him in the eye. It seems to me that he still sees me as a stripper. And I don't want him to see that in me. But memories can't be erased... And his declaration of love doesn't help me get rid of this shame. I'm tired of not giving him the opportunity to see me. I understand that he's already at his limit. Barely holding himself back from finding me and talking to me. He really respects me and my feelings, he won't force us to meet forcibly. He waits for the moment when I allow it. And I'm not playing with him, testing his patience. I just can't figure myself out in my own head.
The fear doesn't leave me. Whether it's because of Edward or just because I'm afraid for my health. I'm used to my parents always taking care of me when I was sick. And now, more than ever in my life, I need their care. I'm afraid that my condition might worsen, and I'll be alone. 
Andrey is behind the wall... But I can't fully trust him, and besides, I'm afraid he's mad at me because of the miscarriage. He wanted a child so much... 
I just want to be with my family. Dad, mom, and Roma. I want to apologize to dad. I'm terribly ashamed... Ashamed of myself, my behavior. He should never know what happened to me in life. I won't tell him what really happened and how the accident happened. And anyway... I'm afraid to call him... How do I tell him I'm in the hospital!? That I fell off the motorcycle!? By the way... Where is it now? What happened to him?
Damn! It doesn't matter anymore! I probably will never ride it again! 
I'll call Roma and tell him everything. It will be easier for me. And let him tell dad, and they'll come for me. Damn...
My selfishness again! How will Roma tell dad!? It will be hard for him too. No way, Kira! You're a grown girl! Made a mess, now at least gather the courage to call dad yourself! Enough already using everyone! Learn to take responsibility for yourself! 
In anger at myself, I quickly open the contacts section and immediately notice a bunch of missed calls from Andrey and then an answered call that lasted almost a minute. It's all clear now... Now it's clear how he found out where I am. Probably the doctors took the phone and explained to him what happened.
Without thinking, I press the 'dad' call button. Two rings, and he picks up the phone.
"Hi, sweetheart! So good you called!"
Why so soon!? I wasn't ready to talk...
"Hi, dad..." All my courage vanished in a second. 
I'm afraid to speak further...
"How are you doing? How's your studies?"
"Dad..." I fall silent, afraid to open my mouth further.
"Hello, something's wrong with the connection, I can't hear you. Hello..."
"I remained silent, the connection was good." I fall silent again, biting my lips until they hurt.
"Ah! So, how are you?"
"Dad... not very well..." I manage to squeeze out, trying to steer the conversation closer to the topic.
"What do you mean, not very well? Did something happen!?" He instantly becomes worried.
I'm going to tell him now. I want to do it myself. So, I'll tell him. Kira...
"I had a little accident..." I pause, realizing how foolishly I began to describe the situation.
"What?" He asks, as if he didn't quite hear.
"From my motorcycle..." I continue to mumble.
"What!?" He almost raises his voice.
"Tonight..."
"Tonight!?" My dad is seriously alarmed.
Now I don't think he's exaggerating, as he usually does — making a mountain out of a molehill.
"The road was just slippery..."
"What happened to you!? Are you okay!?" His panicked shout fills the air.
"I'm in the hospital right now..."
"In the hospital!? Kira, what happened to you!? How did this happen!?" From his voice, I can tell he's rushing somewhere.
"It's just the tires were summer one, I didn't have time to change them..." I justify myself, tears welling up in my eyes from my own lies.
"Were you riding on summer tires!?" He sounds out of breath, his voice interrupted.
"Yes... I just didn't think..." My tears flow like a river, streaming down my cheeks.
"Ah! Kira..." His voice breaks. 
"Dad, please come get me. I want to go back home." I say, holding back tears and a painful lump in my throat so he won't hear me crying.
"Kira, I'm already," his breath becomes even more erratic, "I'm already running to the car. I'll be there soon! Tell me, how do you feel!?" I can't remember the last time I heard him so scared.
"I'm not sure, but I feel okay. Just really tired." I manage to say, trying to sniffle quietly.
"How can you not be sure!? Did you break something!?" The sound of car doors closing is heard, and my dad's breathing calms down.
"No... I don't think so..." I reply uncertainly, afraid to even look at my body or ask the doctors!
"Oh my God! I'm on my way, Kira, I'm coming! Send me the address in a text."
"Okay."
He disconnects, likely putting aside all his affairs because of me...
I wipe away the remaining snot and tears, trying to calm my breathing. I am incredibly weakened... Never again in my life, I will blame or judge this person... He is the most precious thing I have... My dad. 
I would rather condemn myself for the nth time than him...
Having calmed down, my breathing normalizes and my eyes involuntarily close. I drift into sleep...
I feel that it's very hard for me to run. My legs are weak. I want to run faster, I need to break away from him. I can't see him, but I'm very scared. I keep running, but my legs... they're so disobedient and slow! Because of them, they'll catch up to me any moment now! I see some blue curtains ahead of me, and a small smile forms on my face. It seems to me that it's safe behind those curtains. I'll hide there, and they won't catch me. I must... I must reach there in time. I'll be safe there! Ah!
My legs! It's so hard to run! I want to look back and see who's chasing me, but I'm scared. Curtains! Yes! My hand opens them, and I find myself in the club... Spotlights, LED screens cutting through the lightning. Lots of naked dancing girls, having fun and not noticing me. They're all so high up that I can only see their legs and torsos. I raise my head higher and I'm horrified. Decorative demon masks are put on their faces. They're fiery red with little black horns on their foreheads. Someone is smiling and dancing, someone is chatting with men, but absolutely no one notices me! I turn my head to the bar. Dad... My dad sits at the usual place of the security guard! And he's looking at me!  Only him and nobody else! His face is emotionless, as flat as a wall. For the sake of salvation and fear that he saw me here, I begin to take steps back. I walk further and further and reach the mirror. I turn my head to the right...Ah! I'm completely naked! Not a single small piece of fabric covers my body. It's all empty...! He sees me and is silent! 'Daaad!' I shout to him, not understanding why. 'Daaad!' My voice, like my legs, is disobedient to me. I want to scream, but something inside my throat chokes me, preventing my voice from coming out.
'Daaad!'
"Kira, quiet! I'm here, darling, don't shout."
I jolt awake, opening my eyes, hearing my own voice. Someone is holding my hands. I turn my head to the left...
"Andrey. You..."
My breathing is erratic, and my heart is racing at a furious pace. My legs still feel weak. His voice is firm...
"You were shouting. I got so scared." His eyes look more frightened than mine in this dream.
What a bad dream... How long was I asleep?
"How did you get in here?" My voice is weak again, and my head is spinning. Nausea creeps up my throat. My head still throbs wildly.
"I was sitting in the corridor and couldn't hold back. I came in when the nurse went somewhere. Your room is right next to her reception! How are you feeling?" He still doesn't let go of my hands. 
He's holding onto them tightly...
"I am really thirsty." I look around for water.
Andrey rushes over to the nightstand.
"Let me help." He gently grabs me by the neck, lifting it slightly. "You can have just a little bit, a tiny sip."
"How do you know?" I look at him puzzled, thirsting to drink the entire bottle.
"I already asked your doctor everything." His voice is still troubled. 
I obediently, not knowing why I trust him, take a tiny sip, and he gently lays my head back on the pillow. 
"Is that better?" Andrey closes the bottle and places it next to the nightstand.
He carefully sits on the edge of the bed next to me, and only now do I notice the slight bruising under his eyes. Did he not sleep all night?
"It seems like I want to drink even more." I respond disappointedly.
"Hang in there, baby." He takes my hand again. "The doctors say you'll recover very soon and be running around." His bearded face breaks into a gentle smile. 
I smile back at him and stay silent. Just looking at him in full. He's back in his classic black coat and simple black T-shirt. His light-colored pants are slightly wrinkled. Did he just grab the first thing he found? But still, he looks wonderful. I examine his slightly curly, smooth black hair and his grown-out beard. How I missed him... Right now... Right now, I feel what I felt throughout the month when he was gone, until I saw him again. Love? Do I feel love? It seems... yes... How could I forbid him from seeing me?
"I didn't sleep all night knowing it was your last shift.
I wanted to come for you and take you home, so I started calling you." Andrey looks down at the floor, awkwardly telling the story and choosing his words carefully.
He was worried and waited all night... It was crazy. It's incredibly flattering and... shameful. Again, horribly shameful!
"And when some man answered my phone call and said that you were in an accident and being taken to the hospital..." He looks at the floor and shakes his head with a pained expression. "My hair has almost turned gray on the left side as well." He smiles, trying to mask his pain, and tightens his grip on my hand even more.
"I thought you were mad at me because..." I trail off, choked up. "I lost the baby."
I can't look him in the eyes and stare at the white blanket covering me.
"Are you out of your mind?" He strokes my shoulder to get me to look at him. "I was scared for you above all else!" 
My eyes finally meet his, seeing the shock in them from my words.
"Besides, I have plenty of sperm, we can make another one!" He wants to laugh but stops himself, the smile immediately fading from his face. "If you want to, of course." He looks down at the floor guiltily and continues: "The doctor said your female health is okay." Andrey shrugs and looks at me with the same guilty eyes.
I smile approvingly and nod my head. I want him to stop feeling guilty, otherwise, I'll never stop feeling ashamed in front of him for the place where we met. 
"It's a little chilly." I say, wanting to change the subject and pull the blanket over myself.
"Ah! I completely forgot!" He jumps up and grabs a bag from the chair. "Your clothes got all torn, so I brought you some comfortable hospital clothes." He takes out a white plush pajama from the bag. "The doctor said you can change." Andrey smiles sweetly and slyly, then sits back down on the bed next to me. 
I watch all of this and feel warmth and gratitude spread throughout my body. This party animal can really be incredibly caring. I imagine what he could be as a father... The thought of it makes tears well up in my eyes, but I force them back with all my strength.
"This will be much better than what they dressed me in here." I lift the blanket and inspect the hospital's white nightgown with slits on the sides.
Andrey puts the pajamas on the bedside table next to him and sits down beside me.
"Lie down and don't move." He says in his playful voice, removing the blanket from me.
My body is immediately chilled, and I notice the awful scrapes on my skin.
Seeing them, Andrey frowns, his eyes filled with pained regret. He starts untying the ties on the nightgown's sides, and suddenly I realize that I'm completely naked, and he'll see my body exposed in a moment.
"Andrey." I gently grab his hand, causing him to stop. "I'm embarrassed." I whisper to him quietly because I really am embarrassed.
He raises his eyebrows and looks at me in surprise, frozen in place. Unbelievable! I love that expression on his face. He looks so beautiful when he does that, it's impossible to describe!
"Are you kidding?" He squeezes out a slight smile and continues untying the nightgown. "Oh, Kira..." He shakes his head and gives me a funny look. 
When he begins to lift the nightgown with the tips of his fingers, touching my skin, my awkwardness turns into a light excitement, and I can't take my eyes off him. My legs are exposed, the fabric reaches the most intimate place, and it exposes itself along with my legs. The fabric slides further, and I feel and see goosebumps on my skin from the chill and his touch, feeling my nipples harden and protrude through the fabric. Andrey's gaze travels over my body, following the edge of the nightgown. My stomach is exposed, and my chest is fully exposed to his scrutiny. He throws this little white garment over my head and pulls out its remnants from under me.
"Ouch." I say quietly as it twitches over my scrapes.
"Sorry, baby." Andrey stares at my naked body and can't take his eyes off it. 
I measure myself up and then look at him. He freezes, and his eyes shine with wild sweet arousal that penetrates him through. As he examines my scrapes, his eyes darken, and the excited sparkle is replaced by the same painful regret.
"Oh, Kira..." Frowning, he shakes his head. "How did you manage to get yourself into this mess? Nevertheless, even these wounds can't mar your body!" He adds, taking the pajama pants from the bedside table.
With care, Andrey slips my legs, one by one, into each pant leg, constantly glancing at my intimate areas and measuring me. I can't imagine how he can restrain himself. Because I would be ready to pounce on him from his touch if I could. I feel myself getting wet there and try to lift my head to see if it's visible.
He pulls the pants up and scrutinizes it.
"I'm wet..." I say seductively.
He freezes, throwing dark eyes at me, in which the desire to take me flutters. He stares with the same animalistic gaze for a few seconds, then shifts it to my orgasm-inducing naked area and runs two fingers over my labia.
"Not yet." He says tantalizingly, and I shudder from his touch.
I'm flushed with heat from the touch of his warm gentle fingers to my even gentler lips, and I hold my breath for a moment. 
Andrey pulls the pants up to the waist, lifting my hips slightly. He casts another animalistic glance at my chest and takes the pajama shirt from the bedside table.
"Alright, sweetheart, let's slip your head through and raise your arms." He commands, bringing the shirt to my head, but then he stops abruptly. "No, I can't do it like this." He says greedily, and in an instant, he leans in, his lips eagerly attaching to my chest.
"Ah!" I exclaim excitedly, wanting to arch from pleasure, but it hurts to do so.
Andrey sucks on my nipples one by one, gently squeezing my breast in his hand, emitting a barely audible, sweetly animalistic growl.
I feel his soft thick stubble prickling my skin as his tongue teases my nipples, taunting my aroused state.
"Andrey..." I quietly plead. "I can't bear it... please stop."
"Sorry." He pauses and looks into my eyes. "I can't control myself when I see you naked."
"Same here when I see you, not just naked." I chuckle, winking at him with raised eyebrows, calming my excited and erratic breathing.
"Let's continue getting dressed." He smiles broadly at my words.
Andrey handles my body gently, skillfully dressing me in the shirt and covering me with the blanket.
"Thank you for taking care of me." I look gratefully at him, adjusting the blanket with my hands.
He sits closer to me, his eyes filled with kindness once again. He doesn't respond, probably not used to behaving like this with girls. We stay silent for a while, and I don't feel any discomfort because of it. On the contrary, I feel oddly peaceful being next to him in complete silence. 
"By the way, your motorcycle is in the impound lot. It's a bit banged up, but it'll survive. The police have no questions for you; I sorted everything out." He finally breaks the prolonged silence.
"Thank you." I glance at him from under my brow, hesitating to meet his gaze because of the memories of how it happened. "But it's unlikely I'll ever need it again." 
"Didn't know you rode one of those." He shakes his head in surprise, piercingly looking at me with a smile.
"I didn't know much about you either, Andrey." I shrug, feeling the ache in my shoulders intensify. 
"Now I want to tell you everything."
"I already know more than you think." My face breaks into a sly but awkward smile, and I shyly glance at him.
"Little trickster." He affectionately murmurs, squinting his eyes, and smiling.
"Your company. Why are you..."
The door bursts open, and the whole family rushes into the room.
"Sweetie, how are you!?" Dad freezes abruptly, and everyone else stops behind him.
A couple of seconds of awkward silence, everyone stares at Andrey, and Andrey stares back at them.
'There, you've met...' My inner voice quips.
Andrey gets up from the bed and shuffles in place, unsure whether to step to the right or left. He eventually moves towards the nightstand, clearing a path for my parents and Roma.
"Hello." Andrey says, not entirely confidently but boldly.
"Good day." Mom and Roma almost simultaneously reply.
Mom... How beautiful she is to me, how much I missed her. A wave of desire to hug her washes over me. I look at dad. His appearance is so stern. But he doesn't scare or anger me at all. I am filled with kindness and love towards him. It seems I've never felt this way about this person before. Living with him every day and seeing him, I got used to it. And now, when we haven't seen each other for so long, I suddenly realized how madly I love him.
Dad stands and measures Andrey from head to toe. It seems to me he recognizes him.