Kira Modest

Chapter 3

A week passed in terrible anticipation. I hate waiting for something, much less a decision on my fate. My dad and I didn't even quarrel this week. I generally got the impression that he forgot about my enrollment in another city. Or he simply hopes to the very end that I will change my mind or fail the exams. After that scandal on New Year's Eve, we didn't discuss the topic of my move too actively, and so dad cooled down a bit.

Today is the day when the results are uploaded. I mentally, on the imaginary calendar in my mind, counted down each time I lived in anticipation. Day by day, I contemplated and imagined my feelings if I failed. And then I fantasized about a solution to this problem. Oh yes... this is one of my favorite things to do — come up with a problem and think about how to solve it. Although I am confident that I passed, my intuition tells me so, various terrible thoughts still cannot help but creep into my mind. Ugh! I don't even want to think about them. 

And, in general, enough of thinking and guessing. For a week, my brain has been swelling from these speculations.

I go to the website to check the lists of applicants who have entered the faculty. God, there are so many of them. The fear of not seeing my name creates confusion, which prevents me from concentrating and figuring out what button to click on this website.

A few clicks of the mouse, looking through the last names and...

O Y-E-E-S!!!! I can't believe my luck, my name is in seventh place on the list, which means that I, smarty girl, have been accepted on a state-funded basis! My God, my cheeks are burning, my heart is pounding as if it's about to jump out of my chest right onto the laptop screen. I urgently need to tell everyone! The joy overwhelming me did not leave space for other feelings, and I didn't even think for a second about dad's reaction and ran out of my room with lightning speed towards the first floor of our big house.

I run down the steps to the living room, almost falling on the parquet floor, Roma and my dad are watching a replay of the football match, and my mom is watering the flowers. Without paying attention to what they are talking about, I interrupt everyone and shout that damn it, I got accepted on a state-funded basis! This news echoed unexpectedly throughout the house, but unfortunately, my dad's reaction was anticipated. His face contorted terribly, and I can't even understand the emotion, but there is more than one there.

My brother jumps up from the couch and rushes to me:

"Wow, beauty! - Yells Roma throughout the house and hugs me. "I told you I believed in you!" He lightly punches me in the shoulder and ruffles my hair.

The joyful smile on mom's face quickly disappears when she notices dad, who is about to explode worse than any bomb. I felt scared for a second, but I try to remain confident. I'm preparing for his moral blow. In general, I've been ready for it for a long time, but at this very moment I feel the need to do it again. My emotions are off the charts. I want there to be only joy, but looking at my dad, fear creeps in.

"Listen..." Mom says carefully, trying to put her hand on my father's shoulder, who has risen to his full height and is looking at me.

But he interrupts her and tells me in an even, angry voice:

"You did it anyway. You still didn't listen to me. You know what, I've been doing all this for years, all for you, for the whole family? I risked my life and freedom. I wanted you to live without denying yourselfs anything, but you, a little brat, apparently don't understand that. You're still too stupid to understand anything in this life, to understand that not everything is so simple, that you can't achieve anything with honest, innocent work!" His tone rises, and tears well up in my eyes, it's painful and humiliating for me to listen to his insults. How dare he even say this to me and call me such words! "But since you are doing everything you can to show that you're grown-up and smarter than your father, then come on, come on," he yells, "show me how you can do it! And I'll gladly watch this!"