Kira Modest

Chapter 8

I wake up and glance at my phone. There's still a whole hour before the alarm goes off. The girls were no longer around. They probably left when I fell asleep. I rarely wake up so early without an alarm clock; I guess the nerves because of the recent events are having effect on. Well, it's a normal reaction of the body to any stress; I'll get used to it. And there's no need to pity myself. "I am strong, so I can handle everything," I reassure myself. 

I lie in bed, occasionally drifting into sleep, and then the alarm rings. I turn it off, browse social media. Oh, Arthur liked all my photos. I've wanted a good friend for a long time, and Arthur could be that person. 

I get up and feel sore in my hands, and my joints ache in my armpits. Well, what did I expect? I spent half the day hanging on that pole yesterday. It would be surprising if nothing hurt. 

I head to the shower. I stand under the water, and my glassy gaze fixates on the tiles on the shower wall. My mind is blank. I find myself in a stupor and clap my hands against my cheeks to snap out of it.

When will this state release its grip on me? Probably when I dive into work and get used to it. There's just too much new sensation piled up in the past couple of days, so I'm still not quite myself. I'm sure it will pass soon. 

I rush to the wardrobe, look at my clothes, once again not understanding why I bought these dresses. I put on black leather leggings, a long loose white T-shirt, and a leather jacket on top. I look in the mirror. Riding a motorcycle is better in this attire; the wind doesn't hit my delicate skin, and I feel comfortable. I apply a light everyday makeup and head to the university. 

I sit in class with Arthur because the seat near Sansa is already taken by Egor. I smile at them; they're acting just like kids, fooling around with pencils while there's no professor. Arthur is not in the mood at all; he looked at me with a forced smile. As if something happened, and he doesn't want to talk about it. The little bruises from the broken nose under his eyes blind me. When will they heal? I'm afraid to ask him first about what happened. Is it still because of that fight at the club?

The class begins, and I listen with interest to the lecturer's introductory speech. He wanted to get to know us and asked each of us to stand up and briefly introduce ourselves. I was glad about it because I hadn't had the chance to meet all my classmates yet, and now I could hear who's who. 

Everyone stood up, talked about their age and interests, explained why they chose this profession. Some mentioned that their parents didn't allow them to choose another path, so they are here; others said they willingly followed in their parents' footsteps and wanted to become judges too. Now it's my turn. I'm a bit nervous, but I enjoy speaking in public.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Kira, and I'm 18 years old. I chose this profession willingly, but against my father's will. He was not happy and didn't want to let me go; I almost ran away to get here." I don't want to share details about my family and my dad in front of the whole group. I notice that Arthur is listening to me very attentively, and he looks too anxious. I forget about my story and sit down next to him without finishing my introduction.

"Are you okay? It's your turn to talk about yourself. Why are you hesitating?"

"You see, I have things to say, but I'm afraid many won't understand me. But I have to study with them and hiding it doesn't make sense. I don't want to pretend; I want to live openly."

I look at him, ready to encourage him, when the professor interrupts and addresses Arthur:

"Well, young man, don't waste time, introduce yourself."

"Well, don't be afraid, just tell the truth; we are all human beings, not some monsters," I nudge him.

"Kira, well, in general...I like guys, unfortunately, in our country, most people do not consider us normal people. And when I hit on you at the club, it really was just friendly gestures. I kissed your hand just because! I liked you the moment you walked into the classroom, but just as a friend and nothing more. I don't want you to think I'm hitting on you." He looks at me, hoping for support.