sun and star | petalz

13. playing with fire

Chaewon cried until Kazuha's shoulder was stained with her tears, but Kazuha didn't mind much. She was wearing a sweater, and the liquid didn't touch her shirt.

She didn't talk at all, which Kazuha understood.

When Chaewon was finished, they hugged in the doorway for a bit, then wordlessly made their way down to the studio after locking Chaewon's door.

The lights and cameras were already set up, and Sakura was standing by the set talking to someone.

Of course it was Soobin.

Abruptly, however, Sakura turned her head and stared Kazuha dead in the eyes, as if she knew something Kazuha didn't and was prosecuting her for it. Kazuha blinked, and Sakura assumed some sort of oddly self-satisfied look, then went back to talking with Soobin, laughing in a more pronounced way.

Kazuha's heart broke for the millionth time that month, but she turned it away and hugged Chaewon tighter, ushering her into a seat. Chaewon hugged her back tightly, mumbled, "Good luck," then slumped in her seat.

Kazuha gave her a sympathetic smile, squeezed her hand, then tossed off her sweater and rushed onto the set.

"Take one!"

Kazuha stalked into her office, her hair whipping behind her, and slammed her bags on the desk.

"I've told you for the hundredth time, Tanaka, your answer is no!"

"I've been training with your company for months, Mei-san! You need to at least allow me a chance to try!"

The emotion in Sakura's voice surprised Kazuha, but she tried not to show it. It wasn't as easy as she thought.

But of course Sakura's face was perfectly impassive.

That was when the problem started.

"Don't call me Mei," Kazuha bit at Sakura, who glared at her and snapped back, "Then don't call me Tanaka, I have a name."

"One that cannot be associated with this company, or its owner!"

"But why?" Sakura looked furious, and for a second Kazuha debated whether she was acting.

"Because I'm sick of you trying to use Joonwoo-ssi like he's some sort of object, Tanaka!"

The words coming from Kazuha's mouth sounded eerily similar to what Chaewon had screamed at Yunjin just minutes earlier.

"Use- what- how could you?" Sakura's face looked genuinely furious now, and Kazuha was starting to panic, but only a little. "You're the one with no emotions, who acts like a shell in front of everyone! It's pathetic and such a bad way to deal with your emotions, Mei-san. And I don't want to continue being on the receiving end of it!"

"Then don't!" Kazuha found herself yelling back. "Then get out!"

The next line she would hear over and over again, echoing in her brain as she slept.

"Leave the company, you slut. Stop acting like such a two-face, and leave Joonwoo-ssi alone. He's been through so much and doesn't need you messing everything up for him!"

Kazuha's voice echoed around the studio, and Sakura stood there, looking shocked.

It's in the script it's in the script it's in the script it's in the script it's in the-

"You like him, don't you?"

Kazuha's brain fizzled out. That wasn't in the script.

Sakura was ad-libbing.

"I- what- what do you- excuse me?"

Kazuha was confused, but all of her concerns were dispelled at Sakura's expression.

Kazuha had seen many expressions in her twenty years. Defeat, concentration, clarity. All related to the stage.

But this? She knew this. This was the expression of a rival. This was fury.

"Don't play dumb with me," Sakura snarled, and Kazuha noticed she didn't say Mei or even Mei-san. "You're so obsessed with him that you've become shortsighted. You're losing your touch, is that right? Stop being so jealous!"

Kazuha's stomach twisted.

Sakura was angry at her.

Really angry, from the look of it.

But she couldn't apologize.

Except why was Sakura angry? Who did Sakura think she liked? Riki? But no, why would that make her angry?

Wait.

Joonwoo.

Mei.

Yumi.

Sakura thought Kazuha liked Soobin?

The thought was so incredulous that Kazuha burst into laughter, except then she realized that it didn't fit the situation.

However, the situation was so funny that Kazuha laughed until she was doubled over, holding her stomach, and gasped, "Tanaka, you really think I'm in love with Joonwoo-ssi, don't you? Oh God- wait- give me a second-"

Kazuha wiped the tears from her eyes, still slumped against the desk holding her stomach with laughter.

Sakura was staring at her, eyes narrowed, but there was now a tiny bit of confusion in her eyes.

Did she get it?

Did she get who Joonwoo actually was?

"I'm sorry, Tanaka," Kazuha coughed. "Wait, no, I'm not. You want to call me shortsighted? I'm the one trying to manage things here, while you and your ambitious dreams want to crash in and ruin everything. God, I find it so funny that you think love stands in your way. If anything, it stands in mine."

She wasn't lying. Her love for Sakura, at its worst, blocked everything else out. Right now, it was driving a very painful knife in her back.

"What do you mean?"

Sakura was full-on confused now, as she stared at Kazuha. Miraculously, the crew hadn't stopped anything yet. They were probably used to the two girls' miraculous ad-libs.

"I mean," Kazuha said softly.

She realized that right now, she was about to confess her feelings if the two were on the same wavelength.

"I mean that I don't love Joonwoo-ssi. I care for him, but not the way you think, Yumi-chan. He's like my brother. The person I really love is someone else, and the reason I don't want you to stay is because the same thing will happen to you as it will to me."

"What?" Sakura was staring at her, her lips barely opening to ask the question.

"I would follow the person I love to the ends of the earth, but if I do, it will ruin everything we've both worked for. We aren't even a good match, in the eyes of the world. So, Yumi-chan, joining this company will be only bad news for you."

Kazuha was pouring all of her emotion into this. She was telling Sakura that she loved her but couldn't be with her because the other girl didn't feel the same.

A tear slid from Kazuha's shaded eyes, and she flicked it away as fast as it had come.

"And if you love Joonwoo-ssi, which I know you do, then be careful, please. His might not be the only heart you break."

In movie context? Yumi would break her own heart too.

In real life? Kazuha's heart would be completely shattered if Sakura really did love Soobin.