Out of reach (Michael Clifford)

Chapter 20

-WARNING-

Lilacs POV

Thoughts.

It's been a week since I've started living with Sandy now. He's been a bit more calmer since what happened in the hospital, but he's been over-protective over me a lot.. well, that's how he describes it.

He won't let me out of the apartment, or watch TV or even listen to music. I stay inside all day and read books while he's out at work all day. Since I signed that form it's like he changed, and it's starting to scare me..

"Bye Alice, I'm leaving for work now." He tells me before slamming the door shut after him. I listen to him lock the door from the outside, a sigh escaping from my lips.

"Bye.." I mumble, sighing as I put the chain on the door after him like he tells me to. It's like he doesn't want me to be social, but he just says he doesn't want me being hurt again..

I trust him.. right?

Sitting on Sandy's bed, I was gazing out the window, wondering about the incident that got me into this whole big mess. I never did get to find out what happened, I don't think the police found out either.

It was weird; every time the police was announced to show up at the hospital by my doctor, Sandy would get nervous and leave straight away, telling me had had work or things to do. Why was he so afraid of the cops?

I laid back on the bed on top of the messy sheets. When I first 'moved in' here with Sandy I wasn't very comfortable sleeping in the same bed as him, but he insisted. After all he's the one that's sacrificed so much to protect me, like he tells me all the time.

He tends to shout a lot, though. Like if I ask him about why I can't go out or watch TV, he'll get mad and start telling me about how much he's gave up to watch over me and be there for me. I just wonder why he's always so secretive and shouts a lot. I don't mean to get him angry, and it scares me when he is. It's like whenever he shouts or grabs my arm or taunts me it just feels all too familiar, and I don't know why or how.

I've ran out of books to read, too. In one week I've read all the books and magazines and newspapers in this house. There's nothing else to do or read.

I sit up from the bed and look around the bedroom, my eyes landing on my bag of clothes in the corner of the room. I dig my hand in there and look for something to wear for the day, finding myself pulling out the familiar Blink-182 shirt and ripped skinny jeans. The musky smell still lingers on the shirt, and the fabric still feels so soft. I don't know why I feel so attached to this shirt- it just comforts me and makes me feel safe.

I pull on the clothes and a sweater over my shirt, tying my faded hair back into a messy bun before I roam around the apartment, looking for something to do. I've already had breakfast and I'm not hungry, so I don't bother going into the tiny kitchen. I cross the living room towards the door with a sign saying "Sandy's private room." He doesn't let me in there on all costs and locks the door- he keeps the key on him at all times too. Sandy says that it's for his work and inside it wouldn't interest me, but yet it still intrigues me so much; why?

I sigh softly, deciding to find something else to occupy my boredom till he comes back.

Later

"I'm back babe, take the chain off please." I hear Sandy call from the front door. My eyes lazily lift from the cover-less book I've read three times already before I lift myself up from the chair.

Shuffling to the door, I lay a hand on the doorknob, my other hand taking the chain out of the copper hoop, and I open it for Sandy.

He immediately walks past me, throwing his jacket onto the sofa and walks to the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower, and you're going to join me." Sandy tells me.

"I-I've already had a shower today, th-thanks." I tell him, rubbing my arm nervously, worried he'll start shouting.

"You're going to come into this bathroom in five minutes; and if you don't, then so God help me." He barks, venom laced in his words. As he turns around to enter the bathroom, he continues, talking about how much he's sacrificed to look after me and what a hard day of work he's had.

I hear the shower running, and my eyes are glued to the keys poking out his jacket pocket. I recognise one key, remembering him using it to unlock his private room. Quickly, I grab the keys and unhook the one key from the hoop, putting it back quietly as possible in his pocket. Then I slide the key into my back pocket and slowly creep to the bathroom, hearing him call my name.

"Alice, come in here baby." He cooes from inside the bathroom. I take in a sharp breathe, opening the door slowly. He's waiting for me, his dark eyes fixated on me, filled with lust. "Come here baby, I won't hurt you." Sandy says, seeing me flinch as he reaches out for me. I step inside, closing my eyes as I feel his hands roam under my sweater and shirt, reaching up to my chest.

"I-I d-don't-" I begin, but he only grabs the side of my stomach, squeezing hard and I feel a shoot of pain up my stomach. His hands lift my sweater off of me, and his hand only grips harder on my skin as he sees the shirt I'm wearing underneath.

"What did I tell you about this? What did I fucking tell you?" He growls, his fingernails digging into me as I squeal in pain, not knowing what to expect. Sandy rips the shirt off of me, and tugs down my jeans before tearing off my underwear too, throwing them to the floor as I quiver in fear. "Get in the shower." I stand still, shaking and choking on my breathe. "I said get in the shower you fucking bitch!" He yells again, dragging me in with him, ignoring my begs to stop.

"P-Please Sa-Sandy I w-won't wear it a-again." I choke out with tears sticking to my cheeks.

"Don't you say another word, slut." He spits, his voice and grip bringing even more fear, as I feel as if I remember this feeling all too well, as he grabs my hair and forces himself into me. After he's finished with me, I'm a crying mess, sinking to the shower floor. "You're a fucking mess, Alice." He leaves me, bruised and a mess, without another word.

After this I don't feel safe. I don't trust him.