Right Back After This

Episode 4

Walking back outside is walking back onstage with aching feet. He's not comfortable in the wings, not safe out of the spotlight yet- but it's almost worth a shot.

Ares taps his mic back on and says a gentle "see you soon" as he leaves. Riz stands in the hallway for a moment, back against the door. Ares promises there are no cameras here. If he sees footage of this moment, or hears discussion of it, he'll know it was a test, one he's failed. In theory, if all anyone catches him doing right now is breathing, anything can be believed.

When Riz opens his eyes, he notices who was standing just behind the door. He jumps, but keeps silent, and there's a long moment of staring. If Ares knew Colian was right there, he didn't worry about the very possibility that Riz now considers likely.

His mic is on. He can't speak. Most of the time, even in the cameras' few blindspots, what you were doing could be implied, and very rarely is there a place where you can look another person in the eye and safely try to signal, try to invent a sign language that neither of you speak.

But if this is a test, Riz has already lost. So he points at Colian, points at the now closed door, and points at his ear. 'Were you listening to that?'

Colian slowly uncrosses his arms, and checks out the end of the hall, the corner that could be rounded. Then he nods.

Riz's mouth is dry. He flounders for a moment, unsure of what to do- but then Colian lays a hand on his shoulder, draws his attention back to him.

Colian's gaze is steady. He's always had this look of concentration on his face, annoyance, perhaps, and every time Riz saw him he saw his eyebrows knitted together; but now, there's a sudden softness in it. He's got angular features, sharp and heavy, but when he looks at Riz, there's nothing dangerous in them at all. If anything, there's sympathy, there's worry.

Riz tries not to read so much into one glance, one glance he can easily be misinterpreting. But Colian takes Riz's jaw in his hand, framing the place where his mic is implanted between his fingers- not brushing it, not causing the sound of friction- and with the other hand, four fingers suddenly cross his neck, a symbol Riz has only ever seen mean "cut". As in, cut the microphone out- or, he must assume, turn it off. Take the deal.

There's a number of things Colian could mean, up to and including to kill Ares, or to cut out this nonsense and leave it alone. But this ambiguity is precisely why Riz wants to take this deal- why he must.

Because it's important to him, to hear Colian's response, to hear what he wanted to say. That, and Colian's voice is lovely, and Riz wants to hear it up close.

Colian points down the hallway, and when Riz hesitates a moment longer, Colian takes him by the shoulders and points him towards the way he needs to walk. Riz knows exactly what this means, unfortunately. 'The show must go on.'

Riz complies, and within seconds Colian is a shadow; when Riz looks behind him, he's there, slunk against a wall in his black suit, but he's simply silent. When Riz turns corners, starts to come back out into the light, Colian will disappear, always trailing behind- never quite there, but able to materialise at any moment.

Riz has never needed Colian to save him, but he's heard stories. Idols have died when crazed fans broke into their rooms, although that's the extreme end of things; more commonly, they find people who climb buildings to smash in windows, who steal personal items, who get angry at meet-and-greets that the exorbitant prices they paid were only for a minute. Riz doesn't blame them for being mad, and honestly, he can't blame people for buying into what they're sold. They're given everything of idols' lives; what's to stop them thinking they deserve just that, everything?