Right Back After This

Season 2, Episode 6

Riz is now eating lunch while trying to calculate how quickly Dahlia could get here if she was coming as fast as possible. Everyone in the group pretends not to be looking at him as they sit around the table, forcing banter with enough skill that it probably seems pretty natural. When they aren't glancing at him, they're glancing at the bodyguards, standing by the doors. Colian lead him here, and then stood against the doorframe, in full view of the cameras, and did not move. It's not like they haven't shown the bodyguards on camera, but this is deliberate.

Riz knows it's all optics about Ares, but as with everything else, it reflects a real image of danger that nobody but him- and Sonja- are fully aware of. Still, he has to laugh, as if he wasn't sobbing his heart out merely an hour ago. It's not up to him.

He thinks that if Dahlia really was on Deliquet, she can't be here until tomorrow morning at the earliest.

Hope is a fuel and Riz is running on empty. Sonja can't look at him; Frater Raro was telling him to give up; Dahlia Thornton will be here any minute, and Riz has no reason to suspect it's going to get any better. Maybe he can send himself to hell somehow and save everyone else, or anyone else, but he doesn't think he's going to get out of this alive. Amello's trying to play footsie with him under the table, and he wishes he could be paying proper attention, and not moping. It's just hard, when he can't even take any comfort in Amello's embrace, because it's just another reminder of everything that's going to be taken from him.

When lunch is over, all he's doing is trying to read the clock out of the corner of his eye, as Shia and Amello have a heated debate about inanity and Riz can't wait for it to be broken up.

He has a duty to be hopeful, not to give up, and he promised as much to Frater Raro, to Majadha, whether they heard him or not. He grips onto the simple things for dear life: you're not starving anymore. You're not so lonely as you were a week ago. If Dahlia's here, she's vulnerable.

Colian said he knew who Thornton was.

Riz is suddenly abuzz, pushing a fork around an empty plate as he tries to remember. He didn't get much of a chance to talk to Colian about it, but he should have. Why was he having sex when he could've been setting up alliances? What the fuck is wrong with him? What the fuck does Colian know, and why wasn't he more forthcoming? Maybe Riz isn't alone. He has to believe that it isn't just him and Sonja. It can't be just him and Sonja.

He takes a deep breath, and immediately covers it up with a smile as Wrenley turns his way. He curses himself for not being more careful- the excuse of everyone thinking he's just been raped is going to cover some of his emotional outbursts, and he can't be seen to get over it too fast, but if he doesn't get over it fast enough, that's a burning out. Compassionate leave, one could say. But Riz has to build his image as someone who doesn't need compassionate leave. A cute and palatable little victim, soft and rebuildable. No sharp edges. Grief is the sharpest of them all.

He didn't ask Colian at the time because Thornton wasn't his biggest concern at the time. He didn't know it would come to this. Now, with that knowledge, he can make a better decision.

When lunch is finally over, and he's following Colian down towards his bedroom- he mentally thanks God in Majadhan, over and over, that this is a quiet night- he tries to find a second out of the cameras, to beg Colian for a moment alone. When that doesn't happen, and Colian stands outside his door- stoic, with only a polite hand showing Riz his door- Riz stands his ground. He's thinking on his feet, and struggling to do so, but Colian watches and waits for whatever Riz comes up with.

"Um." There's a freedom that comes with prior knowledge. He couldn't have expected Colian to understand what he's about to say before they'd sucked each other off, exactly. "I, um. Do you have to stand out here?"