Right Back After This

Season 2, Episode 4

As Riz showers aboard the ship, noticing how shit the water pressure is and feeling guilty for wishing it was better, he tries to work through if he's doing the wrong thing.

He has, essentially, taken something terribly important from Ares, for his own selfish purposes. Sure, it was a corner he was forced into, a hand he didn't want to bite, but that doesn't change what he did end up doing. Worse than that- or at least, an ongoing harm and not a past one- is that he just saw, unfolding in front of him like a horrific map, how Amello's life is changing because of this new power in his hands. He didn't even use it then- by all accounts, what just happened could have happened before Riz even met Ares- but it was the emboldening that the failsafe gave that made it possible.

And it was dangerous. Putting aside Shia's trauma or rights, as the company itself did, if Shia had looked- would that have been the end? Maybe not, but now Amello wanted to do it again, and Riz had one specific fear about Amello- which was that Amello wasn't afraid enough.

It wasn't just Amello Riz was dragging into this, too. If, say, Shia had walked in on Riz and Colian, Shia would have no incentive to stay quiet, and Colian's job would evaporate, alongside any hopes of future employment, alongside whatever business he had going on that had lead him here in the first place. Alongside Riz's hopes of ever finding out what that business was, alongside anything Colian and Riz could grow together in that time.

Kiel, at least, Riz didn't have to worry too much about. Unless, perhaps, he was on target to ruin Kiel's life the same way he felt he was ruining Amello's, and he just didn't know it. He didn't forget what Kiel had said to him in the brief clarity between sex and returning to the stage. It's just one grain of sand in the deserted wasteland of problems Riz is wandering through.

The problem is that dragging them all down with him is his only reprieve, the water in the oasis that's keeping him alive. He's not about to stop, and even if he wanted to, he knows he'd fold the moment he's got any of them alone again. He almost folded to Amello just then. He's just got to do his best to minimize the hurt.

Which he starts by actually sleeping that night. Despite the fact that, as he's lying there tired and yet eyes open, he thinks he can hear heavier breathing from Amello below him, thinks he can hear a whisper calling his name. It's too bad he doesn't decide what to do about it before the darkness takes him, and he's dreaming of Majadha.

He doesn't remember much from his dream as he wakes up, except that Amello was there, and that the rubble of a bombed building crushed him. His arm reaching out stilled as he died, except it managed to wrap its cold, pale fingers around Riz's wrist- and that's when Riz awakes, feeling cold fingers in real life.

He stares uncomprehendingly at Wrenley. Why is she smiling at him? Surely the cameras can't see her?

"Hey, Riz." She's putting on her usual kind voice. "We've gotta get up in about five minutes."

Riz narrows his eyes at her, until the candy-pink catches up to him. "Five minutes? Where do we have to be? Oh, I should-"

"No, hold on." Her voice is so very quiet, and she puts a finger to her lips. "We have to get up in five minutes. We've got a bit of leeway, if you know what I mean."

Her tone is slowing, dropping, the smile disappearing. Riz thinks he can risk one question that might look okay on camera.

"Do you have your mic on?" he asks, and she shakes her head just slightly.

"Sit up," she whispers. "I'm comforting you because I heard you crying. Okay?"

Riz nods and does as she asks, subconsciously leaning against the pod's camera as she climbs up beside him. He sees before Wrenley closes the curtain around them that Shia's bed is empty, too, although he doesn't see where he went.