Teach Me Something // LH44

Chapter Nineteen

"Do you trust me?" Lewis asks quietly as I stand at my front door, once more being dropped off by him as he's on his way to an airport. It's a weird question and it's definitely one that throws me off guard as my hand pauses and pulls away, moving to push my hair behind my ear instead of reaching out to take him into my arms as I had been planning.

"Er, yeah, what's wrong?" I ask, head tipping to the side as I try to pull the answer to the question I'd already asked him this morning. He tries to smile and reassure me without words but it doesn't work. He's seemed stressed ever since the phone call he received this morning from a number that I'm not aware of and despite opportunities - he still hasn't said anything to me about why. He's not obligated to but it's... weird when something like this happens when I'm in his bed. It's like I'm in his life but then... really not. I don't know anything really at the end of the day.

"Nothing is wrong, I just... I need you to trust me," he repeats and I nod, faltering slightly as I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. "I'll keep in touch but I will be busier than recently and I probably won't be back in the UK until February," he says squeezing my hand before he pulls me into a tight hug, so tight that I can hardly breathe let alone respond but I do kind of enjoy the restriction in his arms. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too," I say, my words muffled by his jacket as I feel him take another deep breath and I follow his lead, my anxiety somewhat eased by the smell of his cologne. "Remember to send me pictures of Paris..."

"If I wasn't working then I would take you in a heartbeat," he says, kissing my temple before finally letting go of me so that I can resume normal breathing. "But I'll take you before pre-season testing. How about that?"

"Sounds like a dream," I tell him and he nods to himself, both of us frozen and not wanting to move away but knowing that it would not be long until we had to.

"I want to make it your reality. I swear... I love you."

"I love you."

The words are said by both of us at the same time, laughter following shortly after as I feel my heart leap out of my chest at the words I've been so scared of for so long. I wasn't used to this discomfort and the one thing I didn't like was the feeling of waiting for something to go wrong but I was trying to be positive.

"I'll see you soon," he promises as I step back and I nod and wave him off, watching the car dip around the corner as I go inside.

"How was last night, did you get breakfast?" Jenny asks wiggling her eyebrows to emphasise the question she was really asking as I dump my bag by the door and shake my head at her. "Cute jumper by the way," she smirks as she looks at the oversized hoodie I'm currently utilising as a dress, the emblem showing they're from Lewis's brand. He'd gifted it to me this morning along with a bag of other clothes both released and unreleased that he had as surplus so that I didn't have to put my dress back on from last night.

"Breakfast was great but... there was a weird moment..." I confess truthfully, the smile slipping off my face as I get a glass of water and move back to the sofa, the hangover feeling more real the longer that he is away.

"Not a loving weird moment?" Jenny teases but the smile on her face soon drops when she looks up at me and sees the look on my face. "What is it?"

"I don't know... he was on the phone to someone this morning. I wasn't trying to listen in but he was talking about getting rid of something and changing the narrative, and then about a Paris plan. Then when he dropped me off he got all serious - asking if I trusted him and stuff and I'd like to blindly trust him but I don't know what's going on with us, let alone what any of that was about though," I tell her with a shrug, the frown on my face reflective of my heart straining under an invisible pressure on my chest.