Teach Me Something // LH44

Chapter Twenty-Six

"Toto," I say, a strained but genuine smile on my face, apprehensive as the tall Austrian stops in front of me at the same time that Jenny catches up to me.

"I told you not to hurt him," he tells me, almost polite as he stands with his hands in his pockets, signalling that he is not actually greeting me, but recognising my presence. I can't help but feel defensive as I step back, Jenny's hand going to my back to support me to stand my ground. Also to stop me from running.

"He hurt me first," I inform him quietly, my eyes going first to the floor and then to survey the room as I feel the defeat creep into my body. There are plenty of eyes on us, but not the pair that I was expecting to see. Did he know that I was here and he'd decided not to do what he normally does because of that? When I finally get back around to looking at Toto, I see his expression has softened as he finally holds his hand out for me to shake.

"Come over this way, I'll show you what the telemetry from yesterday looked like. He's stuck in media right now but I have no doubt he will be here in no time," he says, this time showing a real grin as he motions for me to walk ahead of him. I make sure Jenny is following me as I do as instructed until I'm standing in front of the screen that Toto had previously been advising someone else from. We spend at least ten minutes like that with Toto trying and failing to explain to me what the graphs mean and getting rather amusingly frustrated when I can't understand them. "How come you can beat me at chess but you can't understand this? Aren't you a teacher?"

"Hey! I teach primary school - not advanced graphic-things! Did you consider that perhaps you're the issue? Maybe you're not explaining it properly. Maybe I need a better teacher," I challenge him back, my hands on my hips as I laugh alongside my words, joking with him. I finally feel as calm as I have since I got the tickets when I see Toto dragging his hand down his face, looking exasperated at me and shaking his head.

"Maybe I can do a better job?" A smooth voice asks from behind me, making my heart stop as they step in so close behind me that I wonder how he could have entered the garage without me noticing. Right now I could feel every hair on my arms and I was suddenly very aware of every molecule in the room vibrating with more energy as I realise he is not even a step behind me. His breath hits my neck and I feel him hesitate to touch me. I can tell he wants to, his fingers just manage to graze some of the exposed skin from my cut-out dress but he seems to realise where we are just before he does and pulls back. "I'd like to do a better job," he whispers so quietly I don't believe anyone other than me could hear or know what he was talking about.

He wanted to do a better job and I knew it wasn't about explaining why one line was better or worse than the others on Toto's screen. Everything in my body wants me to fall back into him, to let his arm wrap around my waist and rest on my abdomen, just as he did when we were around his friends. It was his way of letting them know that not only was I with him - but that I am his. However, I knew even if I did let myself fall back into him now, his hand would not do that. Even when he was with me, I didn't let myself believe that he was with me... it was all just playing pretend. I couldn't get a normal person to stay with me, how could I be enough for Lewis? So no, I couldn't fall back because he wouldn't hold me and even if he held me... no one would know what it meant, no one would believe it.

They would have no reason to.

"Hi," I force out, turning around and smiling at him, noticing that I was right about how close he was when I almost fell directly into him.

"Gigi," he says, looking beyond relieved when my eyes meet his and he sees that it's not an image made up in his head, that I'm really here. His eyes are warm and rich like chocolate, there is a fire in them that is mirroring itself in mine and before I know it he's pulled me into a hug, clearly less able to help himself than I gave him credit for. He sets my whole body ablaze as I wrap my arms back around him out of instinct, burying my head in his chest. I couldn't help it, the moment his hands were on me I was putty in his hands, once more infected by everything that was him, from his touch to his cologne, to the way felt under my fingertips.