Zustin - A new start

You look like shit

Justin's POV:

I wake up with a pounding headache, feeling like my eyes have been sewn back in. My mouth is dry and I'm starving. I try to get up, but a sharp pain in my back reminds me of last night's events.

I manage to stand and stumble to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I see a mess: my neck and chest are covered in hickeys from Luke.

I take a shower, hoping to wash away the remnants of last night.

Zayn's words echo in my head: "I wanna be with you."

He was drunk—he didn't mean it. He's shown who he really is when sober, and that's not someone I want. But he's in the same situation I was in. The most popular guy at school, everyone wants to be him, and he's scared of coming out.

That was me once. It all changed in an instant because I'm gay. And now I'm judging him for not wanting to end up like me? But I would never drag someone down with me. I'd never use my issues as a weapon against someone else.

I'm confused. I want to help him through it, I want to be with him. No, I don't. I have Luke. Luke's nice, amazing even, but he's not Zayn.

I start to feel like the worst person in the world. Did I use Luke to get over Zayn? No, I genuinely wanted to be with Luke last night. But would I have done it if I was sober? Or want to again? I'm not sure.

I leave my room and find Harry and Louis asleep on the couch. Louis is curled up, while most of Harry is hanging off the edge. I laugh, not remembering coming home last night. More than two years without alcohol really took its toll on me.

I freeze when I hear someone in the kitchen. I walk over to see Luke, looking worse than me. He's swallowing a pill, probably a painkiller, and sipping water.

"Fuck, I'm hungover," Luke says when he sees me.

"No kidding, you can at least walk," I reply, limping towards the cabinets for a glass.

"Damn, sorry dude. Yeah, that's on me, I guess," he says with a laugh.

I'm unsure whether to bring up last night and how I feel. I don't want to upset him. Before I can continue my thoughts, Luke speaks again.

"So, Justin, yesterday was amazing. Like, really amazing. You're incredible, a great person, and hot. But I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm still not over my ex. I ran into him after we were done, and we talked a lot. It made me realize I still love him. I feel bad because you're amazing, and what you did for me was wow. I hope you don't think I took advantage of you because you were drunk. I really didn't," Luke says softly.

"Oh god, I'm so relieved to hear you say that, Luke. You have no idea," I say, releasing a deep breath I was holding.

"I feel the same. You're actually too amazing for me. And however crazy this sounds, I think I'm in love with that idiot who barged in on us last night," I admit, feeling a bit embarrassed for Zayn.

"I kinda figured that. I've met him a few times; he's cool when he's not drunk. Just make sure he treats you right Justin, both sober and drunk. Okay?" Luke tells me.

I hug him. "Thank you. I will."

A few hours later, everyone has left. Harry needed to be carried out by Louis and Luke; he was still wasted.

I go to pick up Noelle. She's napping when I arrive, so I get help placing her in the stroller. She stays asleep, and when we get home, I put her in her bed, planning to let her sleep for another hour.

I check my phone—so many missed calls and texts from Zayn.

"Wanna come over?" I text him, unsure if I really want him to.

"Yes. I'll be there in 1 hour. Thank you," Zayn replies almost immediately.

While waiting for him, I make some food, pay bills, and list groceries we'll need for the week. I hear knocks on the door and open it to find Zayn. If Luke and I looked like hell, Zayn looks like he's been trapped in a nightmare.

"Come in," I say, stepping aside. "You look like shit," I add as he takes off his shoes.