Zustin - A new start

I can't

Zayn's POV:

I wake up next to Justin for the first time in almost 2 months. I feel my heart rushing inside of me from happiness. I get up to check on Noelle, it's quite early and she's sleeping deeply so I let her. It's Saturday anyways. I crawl back into bed with Justin, laying close to him, my chest against his back, smelling his familiar scent in his neck. Oh how I've missed this. I have no idea how I even survived these weeks without him. I changed completely, I stopped not caring about my future, and instead I focus all my time on schoolwork including all extra classes I've signed up for. I don't hang out with Benjamin and his friends anymore, and I just did everything I could to be a better version of myself, for him, and for myself, and my family.

I kiss his neck, not being able to stop myself. And I caress his body, loving how he feels.

I'm not sure we made up yesterday, we just went to bed after talking. Not really saying anything more, just holding each other. I'm scared of him waking up and realizing he actually don't want me here. I would understand, I was awful and I have hated myself every second since.

I try to keep my hands still, try to keep my kisses slow and still but I can't. Feeling his perfect body that I have missed so much, against mine is just too much not to act on. He wakes up and turns around. Looking at me with barley awake eyes, and I really feel like I can't exist without him. I smile, he doesn't.

"I've missed waking up with you. I love you so much Justin." I say, knowing I've said it so many times already but I can't stop. "I love you too Zayn, but I-"

"Please no buts" i interrupt. "Please just give me a chance to prove that I am different. One chance."

"Kendall is gonna kill me. Or you. Or both." He says smiling a little for the first time and I could die just staring at his beautiful face.

He leans in to kiss me and I directly follow, biting his lip gently before I push my tongue inside of his mouth. I run my hand in his hair, that have grown so much longer since I last had the chance to do so. He gets on top of me, straddling me and I immediately feel my boxers getting tight from my growing dick. He notices and moves his ass a little further down, now having it directly on top of it. He grinds on top of me while having his hands down on the bed on each side of my head. I'm going insane from the feeling and he notices and starts moving his ass faster. He gets off me making me whine "take off your boxers." he says as I see him stand up and do the same, as he grabs the lube.

He sits down on top of me again, just a little lower now. "Justin, please take off your shirt, I want to see your body, please." He doesn't answer and instead he squeezes out lube in his hand and starts to rub it onto my hard dick making me moan loud as his hand moves up and down. He then places himself back and he grabs my dick and places it at his entrance, "baby let me prep you first." I say not wanting to hurt him. "Shh" he says as he slowly pushes down, taking my whole length inside of his tight hole. I see his eyes closing hard from the pain and I try to lay as still as I can. He slowly starts moving himself up and down, and I do as well. And then he rides me like his life depended on it, and I come faster than I ever have.

"That was amazing baby." I say still panting.

"I'm gonna shower" he says, standing up. "Can I join?" I ask hoping for a yes. "No." he answers, and walks away, locking the door behind him. Even though he starts the water and I hear it pouring down, I can hear quiet sobs, and I have never hated myself more.

Justin suddenly steps out of the bathroom and looks me right in the eyes, more serious than he has ever before, his eyes are red. And then he talks, "Zayn I need you to go, now. I'm sorry but I can't do this. I tried but I can't. I don't want you. I don't want this, this was such a mistake and fuck I hate myself for it Zayn but I can barley look you in the eyes without crying. It feels like im dying inside, I can't go back to normal. I'm so sorry. Can you please be gone when I come out. Please." And then he closes the door.

And that's the last time I saw him.