Zustin - A new start

I hate myself

Justin's POV:

I hear three knocks on the door, my heart is beating so fast it could be mistaken for a heart attack. I go to the door and I just stand there. Not moving a single muscle until I hear three knocks again. I open the door and there he is. The most beautiful man I have ever seen, the only man I have ever loved, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with no matter how much I try to convince myself the opposite. He has tears in his eyes, and his face is swollen from crying.

I hate myself for giving in.

I throw myself in his arms making both of us sob out loudly as we hold each other tighter than should be humanly possible.

I hate myself.

I let my lips connect with his and all of a sudden we are having the most bittersweet romantic kiss we've ever had. I wrap myself around him, he hold me up with his both hands under my ass and we don't disconnect our lips for a second. Even when we need to come up for air our lips are still connected somehow.

I hate myself.

"Fuck me Zee." I whisper in his ear and I start kissing his neck, letting my hand run through his beautiful thick hair. He carries me to the bedroom where he carefully places my back against the door after he's shut it. He kisses me so passionately that it drives me insane, I feel my whole body shaking from how much I've missed him and how much I've missed this. He tries to pulls off my shirt, but I stop him not wanting him to see my back after what he said. "Justin? What's wrong?" He asks, I don't answer I pull of his shirt instead. We're both growing hard and I feel him unbuttoning my jeans and shortly after he pulls them down as he drops to his knees.

I hate myself.

He helps me step out of my pants and my boxers, and he places his mouth right by my dick that is standing up hard as a rock. He grabs my ass cheeks, one in each hand and he let his tongue lick the head of my dick making me moan out. He takes as much as he can off me in his mouth, and uses his hand for what he can't fit. His mouth is doing magic things to me and his other hand is grabbing my ass so hard it both hurts and gives pleasure. I run my hands through his hair as he goes faster and faster, his tounge swirling around my head and I feel myself come inside of his mouth. He swallows and quickly stands up again.

I hate myself.

"I've missed you so much Justin." He says as he cages me in between his arms, one hand on each side of the wall around me. "I love you so much." I don't say anything back. He notices and he lays his soft lips on my neck, sucking gently, pulling his tongue up and down just like he knows I love it. His hands are making their way inside my shirt and onto my back, running his fingers on my scars, feeling every one of them. Usually I like it, I like feeling his beautiful hands over my ugly scars, as if it would make up for them being there to have something as precious as his hands touch them. But right now I don't. I take away his hands and place them on my hips instead. He looks at me sadly, I look at him sternly. "Just fuck me." I say as I once again connect our lips. He grabs me and puts me down in bed on my back, but I turn around wanting to be on my knees and hands. "This way instead." I say as I position myself, not wanting to look him in the eyes during.

I hate myself.

I hear him getting disappointed, i know he loves seeing me during. But he still goes and gets the lube and take a good amount on his fingers before sliding one in, "do two directly." I say, needing to get stretched so I can feel his dick inside of me as fast as possible. "Are you sure?" He ask and I nod. I feel his two fingers entering me, I stay quiet from the burning sensation for a while until it starts feeling good as he uses his fingers to scissor me inside, and push hard against my prostate and I moan out. Fuck I've missed this. "I'm ready get inside of me." I moan out. Zayn slowly pulls his fingers out of me, he reaches for the lube and rubs it all over his dick before he throws away the bottle somewhere on the floor. He pulls me back so im at the edge of the bed, and his feet are standing steady on the floor right behind me, he grabs a hard grip around my hips and I feel the tip of his lube drenched dick at my entrence, teasing me a little, not pushing in, "are you r-" he doesn't finsih his sentence before I once again say "fuck me."