Zander and I stayed at Carson's until John left again for another work trip. It was nice to be back home with my own room away from my brother and his boyfriend. Not that I didn't love them both to death.
I lied face down on my bed and screamed into my pillow, because I was a very okay normal human obviously. I hated myself and my life so much, the only reason I was still there is because Zander would leave if I did. I loved him and I didn't want him to feel that kind of hurt. He didn't deserve that.
I hadn't been able to cut in about four days, so I took care of that real quick because that's cool.
I remembered when Zander asked me if I had, I felt so terrible lying to him and honestly it made me want to do it more. I didn't want to worry him though. He has enough of his own problems to worry about mine.
I suddenly felt a stab like feeling from my lower stomach. Wonderful, the monthly reminder that I'm not pregnant, and I'm not male. It's definitely a fun time. Also extremely painful.
I read a book for a little while. But it just made me sad. The ship the book was about was so adorable and perfect. I wanted something like that, a sweet boyfriend like the one in the book. Not that I wanted to be the girl in the book, because I wasn't a girl. I just wanted her life and her boyfriend. Obviously.
That boy didn't seem like the kind to act all sweet and cute just to take someone out and touch them. Well, you never know. He's sweet, maybe too sweet, and I haven't gotten to the end of the book yet. I guess every guy's like that. Except my brothers, they're sweet. Then Car seems sweet too but you can never know. He better not hurt my brother. If he does, he'll regret it so much he'll wish he was dead.
I screamed into my pillow again. I wanted to die.
Then Zander came in. Great.
"Cam guess what guess what??" He said, smiling.
"What?" I replied plainly.
"Chicken butt!" he said, smiling bigger now.
"Wow." I said, annoyed.
"I know right?"
"You're weird"
"I know"
Why does he exist? It's not fair. I can't die as long as he lives.
YOU ARE READING
Crazy Depressed People
Non-FictionA story with my original characters. Each chapter is from an ocs pov. ⚠️Trigger warning⚠️ death, mentions of sh, suicide, suicidal thoughts, talk of rape and abuse, and homophobia from abusive father. *bows to human who thought of the name for thi...
