Crazy Depressed People

Jude's POV Part 2

             I hadn't left my room since I found out. My sister did that? Why? How? When? I knew she hadn't been right in the head lately but I never thought she was capable of anything like that. Lizzie loved Josh. At least I thought she did. I refused to believe she was completely alright in the brain and did it by herself. It just didn't seem right.

             Finding out this shit was even worse than what had been happening to me with Kendal. But I couldn't let myself cry. Crying is weak, but again I am weak. But I need to not be.

             Shit. Stupid tears. I quickly wiped them but they kept coming. Why did I have to be so fucking weak.

             The fact that I hated being alone did not help right now. I had no one to call, no one to go to. I banged my head into the wall and cried harder.

             Then my phone went off. Could it be Zoey? Kyle maybe? I don't fucking know just someone who didn't hate me? I checked it. Shit. It was just Kendal. I threw my phone across my room. It was probably broken now but to be honest that'd be great because then Kendal couldn't call me.

             I heard a knock on my bedroom door. It was probably my mom but I didn't want to talk to her right now. She'd see me cry.

             "Jude?" I heard my mom say in a soft voice. "Are you alright? Can I come in?" She asked me.

             Fuck no I wasn't alright. How could I be? And no, I didn't want her to come in. But I didn't know if it was exactly a question, so I let her.

            "...no- and sure I guess-" I told her. There was no use lying right now, of course I wasn't okay. I put my head down on my desk so she wouldn't see me cry.

           My mom opened the door and stood next to me.

          "Can I have a hug?" She asked me quietly.

          A hug sounded nice I guess. I hadn't had one of those in a while.

         "....okay-" I said, and stood up pathetically, staring at the ground.

         My mom hugged me tightly. Hugs are weird as fuck. Or maybe I just hadn't had one in a while. I don't fucking know.

         "When was the last time you had food...?" She asked me quietly, concerned.

          She hadn't noticed how small I'd gotten until then. She had to work a lot of overtime lately, we could barely afford to pay rent. And when she was home I was usually hidden in my room, so she hadn't seen me much.

           "Uh- ...lunch at school- earlier-" I lied.

           "How much-? Jude you've gotten smaller- and paler-" she looked slightly scared.

           "...the normal amount-" I lied again.

           "Jude. Please tell me the truth- when did you really last eat-?" Her voice was quieter now.

           ".......two weeks-" I said so quietly it was barely audible at all.

           My mom looked like she was going to cry.

           "....why-?" She choked out.

           "..........I don't know-" I lied again.

           "Jude-" she began.

           "Kendal-" I blurted out. Shit shit shit why did I just say that she's gonna kill me if she finds out I told.

            She raised an eyebrow slightly.
 
            "...What'd she do-?" She asked me, concerned but quiet.

            ".....um.......she just.....says things to me.....and other stuff-" I whispered.

            "How long has this been going on?" She asked, frowning more.
  
            "......about a year...and a half-"

            "Why didn't you say anything?"

            "....she told me not to"

            "I'm so sorry Jude-" she picked up her phone. "I'm gonna try to get you away from her okay?"

            I nodded, crying more now, and hid my face.

            She called some people and told them what happened. I was fucking terrified of what happened when- or if- I saw Kendal again.