Seduce Me one shot book

💚You are not broken💚

Hi<3 So, I just want to preface this by saying trigger warning for any readers. This fic will include mentions of rape, attempted suicide, depression, and angst. I'm aware this is a very sensitive subject matter, and I tried to be as respectful and sensitive as possible. Please tell me if there is anything I could do to improve or to be more sensitive regarding the subject matter. I hope you enjoy the story<3

I wrote it to be platonic, but feel free to interoperate it how you like. I've also posted this on my Tumblr, where it was originally requested, and AO3.

I was shaking, almost dropping the blade in the process. I was done, life had thrown too many things at me. My father, grandfather, Malix, Diana, and today. The memories of the man invaded my thoughts, mental images of his grabbing me, pulling me into the alleyway. The feeling of him forcing my clothes down. It was too much. I didn't care anymore, there was no using logic to find my way out of this.

I was tired of being strong. Tired of smiling. Tired of crying.

Tired.

I tried to breathe as the tears continued falling down my face, but my lungs refused. I wasn't making any attempts to be quiet, as I was supposed to be home alone. The shaking in my hands didn't subside as I brought the blade down to my wrist, taking a large breath.

Suddenly, before the blade could even make contact with my skin, someone snatched it out of my grasp. In front of me was my close incubus friend and roommate, Sam, tightly gripping the blade in his hands. He was giving me a look I couldn't quite understand. It was hard to ignore tears that formed as I stared into his eyes, frozen in place while I waited for him to do something.

My thoughts were almost frozen. Panic, embarrassment, sadness, anger was all there. But any trail of thought seemed to be as stuck as I was.

After what felt like forever, I looked away, my eyes falling on his bloody hand. "Sam, you're bleeding."

I felt his gaze harden, and suddenly I was being picked up. Before I could register what was happening, we were out of the bathroom and standing in my room. He held me tightly to him, even as he sat my feet on the ground. I noticed the trembling which reverberated throughout his body, and I could swear I felt his tears in the crook of my neck, where his face was buried.

I was stiff, unsure of how to respond. I just wrapped my arms around him as I tried, and failed, to speak.

Eventually, he pulled away and sat down on my bed which I followed suit. I stared at nothing at particular, barely aware of the tears which were still falling from my eyes. My fists were tightly shut, my nails breaking the skin of my palms. I failed to bring myself to look at Sam, but I knew he was staring at me.

"What the fuck were you thinking." Sam asked. His tone was harsh, but I knew him well enough to know that he cared.

I didn't answer, just digging my nails deeper. I found myself admiring the paintings on the walls, thinking of the feelings of my hair on my neck, anything but the predicament I was in.

Sam was impatient, however. "Y/N, what were you fucking thinking?" He asked again, louder this time.

I gulped, now staring at my hands which were bleeding from my nails. "I wasn't." I answered quietly.

I could hear him take a deep, shaky breath before he spoke again with a slightly weaker tone. "Why?"

I closed my eyes, the shaking in my body still very prominent. "I'm tired."

Sam shifted closer to me. "Then let us help."

I shook my head, crying even more. "I can't be helped."

"Bullshit."

I finally looked up at Sam. His eyes were slightly red, and I could see the fallen tears on his cheeks. His expression was frustrated, worried, and saddened at the same time. "I'm unfixable." I said, a sad smile stretching across my face.

His eyebrows furrowed, and before he could argue I spoke again. "Anyone with eyes can take a look at me and know I'm a lost cause."

I swallowed hard but continued. "Everything I touch burns, and I'm tired of worrying every good thing is gonna be fucked up."

His eyes were completely unreadable as he spoke. "You can't let the shit that's happened in your life mean nothing. If you..." He stopped, and his eyes began to water again.

I sighed, looking back down. "I don't know what wrong with me." I admitted.

Sam's arms wrapped around me. "Nothing is wrong with you; you can't control the bad things that have happened to you."

Something he said made me break.

Suddenly I was sobbing, turning and returning his embrace. He tightened his grip around me, his hand rubbing soothing circles on the small of my back. He let me cry into his shoulder, whispering and letting me know everything would be okay.

"Sam." I said, between sobs. "I was raped."

I felt him tighten his grip and go slightly rigid for only a second before returning to his previous demeanor. He continued to sooth me, telling me it wasn't my fault and that I'd be okay.

After what felt like hours, I pulled away. My eyes felt swollen, and my head was pounding, but the weight in my chest was slightly lighter. I wiped my face and looked at the clock. It was early, only 4pm, but I was exhausted from crying. A yawn escaped my lips, and Sam smiled ever so slightly. "You should lay down."

I nodded, looking at him. "Will you stay?"

He just nodded, without even hesitating. He laid down, letting me lay on his chest as he trailed his hands up and down my back. In almost no time, I was falling asleep, my last thoughts surrounding how safe I felt in his arms.