MY SWEET ALYNE

CHAPTER 7

NOAH

I am one of the worst dads in this world. Why I can't show emotions to my pretty daughter. I wish I would have just been a better dad then just to shout at her, Alyne is right she doesn't only need money, she needs love and care. But how can I give her love, when I have lost every love and care left in my heart. 

I love my Ava more than anyone else. Before she was born the only person I loved was Hailey, but the moment I had her in my arms I knew I love her most in this world. 

But then why do I hurt her, I didn't needed to shout on her this morning. I broke the heart of my child she would have been so been so terrified of me.

When I fell in love with hailey, it was the most beautiful feeling in the world. The moment I locked eyes with her, I knew she is the one. She looked so beautiful in that purple dress she wore for one of our college parties. When we talked every point was just clicking. 

When we kissed It was more than a kiss, I felt like thousand of my nerves have been broken I felt my eyes just went back into my skull. In that very moment all I could feel her timid lips on my lips. Her warm tongue, and way she wrapped her hands on my neck. The way I was holding her close to me by her waist. 

It wasn't lust for me for the first time, it was love, pure love. When I opened my eyes, my vision was blurry she was all red and her eyes bore into mine. Like she just entered my soul in one go.

Then from that very moment, six years later. I entered my house and tip toed because I wanted to give her that dress she liked when we were together in the mall with my Ava. I went to Ava's room first and put the teddy bear I bought for her. she was asleep. I knew she was tired of being with her mom, sometimes I feel Hailey should take breaks with her regular shopping and partying with her friends because Ava gets tired of that. But she gets infuriated if I talk to her bout it .

I tucked Ava in her duvet and then went towards my room, and as I'm about to enter. I heard moans.

I heard Hailey moaning.

I heard my Hailey moaning in pleasure.

She is moaning because she is having a really good time in bed, but its not me.

I clutch the dress in my hands too harder, realizing what going on. She is cheating on me. She is is allowing someone else to give her pleasure that I give her. 

my heart stopped pumping blood, I feel really nauseous and uneasy. I can feel my vision going blur, I can feel my heart being cut with knifes. I can feel my feet and hands going numb. I can feel the sudden emptiness in my stomach, I can feel the sudden drought in my throat.

I can hear her pleading him, "please Shawn, please harder, faster, oh my god wow, its so good, harder baby please, ohhhhhh myyyyy good, wooooow. Woooow, you are so good." 

She cut each limb of my body. I am standing here leaning over the wall in front of me, tears rolling down my eyes. 

I gave you everything Hailey. Then why. Why all this bullshit. Why are you living in this house with me when you don't love me. Was I not enough for you. Shut my eyes and try to catch my breath.

Why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.why.

Maybe I'm the problem.

Maybe I'm not enough for her.

Maybe I didn't love her enough.