MY SWEET ALYNE

CHAPTER 19

NOAH

Everything is been good lately, especially alyne. After I found her on the floor that day and she was hospitalized, She has been my constant thought. All I think all day is whether she has eaten or not, is she ok or has she been crying.

I know that she still have scars and it will take time for her to heal and love herself that way, but I think the moment we had in her room has changed something for her, may be letting it all out helped her a lot.

I know what it means to tie things jn yourself does to you but I still have so many wounds of myself that I have never talked to anyone ever.

But right now my priority is Alyne, she is my....she is my....she....lives with us under dame roof.

Is this the only reason I care about her constantly?

Living under same roof.

Well, does it matter?

No, its fine with me taking care of her as she takes care of me and my daughter.

Since she have returned home, all I do is peeping in her room, not in a perverted way. Obviously.

I always look for her in her room, I don't know but I can not sleep without checking upon her. I peep into her rooms all those nights when she doesn't come to have a talk while I work till midnight.

I know she has issues for sleeping, I thought I should be available for her all the time. I know she wouldn't bother me while I will be in my room. So I started doing my work outside of my room. In place where she will be comfortable talking to me.

Some nights I wait for her in living room, dinnig table or sometimes in balconies, given we have a huge wooden floored balcony with chairs and tables and thanks to Alyne's love for flowers and gardening there are plenty of plants in our balconies and apartment.

But our best conversation are always done on dinnig table. So since few weeks I have starting doing all my work on dinning and I wait for her every night.

Like a kid wait for an angel when night falls.

She would keep her head out of her windiw for a while and look for me, then come and ask if she could join me. A beggar yearning for a cotton thread, why will reject a warm blanket.

She sits with me talks to me, and make coffee for me, we talk for hours and there are times I would stop work just to glance at her and look at her admire her.

There are nights when my work will be completed but I would look at her and keep tapping random keys on my keyboard in order to make her think I'm still working and sometimes i just write in my notes about how she is looking and what she was talking about. I know its creepy and I still do it. Moreover she thinks I'm crazy.

I remember all her stories amd tales and her whining about how her cousins used to take her toys and how she got that big but pinkinsh scar on her knee when she fell from cycling. She told me she is insecure about it, that it makes her legs look less attractive or flawed but on contrary of that I found that scar attractive and beautiful like a part of her put in bare and it will make you curious about her and you would urge to listen about the story of how she fell from her pink cycle with ribbons on handles and a big basket filled with flowers and a red kitten she picked up from the bushes of  sunflower.

Shevwould whine about how girls in her college get on her nerves amd she have a different taste from them as if I can not see how much beautiful a aiul she is and the way she talks abput the food she loves the way she describes them makes you feel she is having them now in her mouth and she have its taste all over on her taste buds.

I remember each and every word that comes out of her mouth. I remember the tone, the pitch, the excitement, the happy, the irritated and every sound she makes. I even remember her breathing.

Or may me my mind have memorized her.

The memory of the glitter in her eyes whenever she talks about something loves and it maked me want to show I haven't first time to look her shining again.

I remembered how she onced asked me about my work and things related to me, it made me feel noticed, special and noticed. I dont why I felt it but it was something that my heart swelled up. I was really wxcited snd told her about my passion, my interest and my perceptive about things.

There are so many nights when she sleeps while talking and listening to my rants, I just want to ensure I am not boring her out. But when she sleeps she looks so pretty and I just pray, although I am and atheist, that she would have beautiful dreams and wouldn't be bothered in the land of her dreams as this world is so cruel for someone like her.

She looks at peace and divine while sleeping sound, it aches my heart to wake her up and ask her to go to bed. So I carefully and gently pickes her up and take her to her bed and put her gently on that bed and covers her in a burrito and make sure she is warm and comfortable. Sometimes I am able to control and leave without doing my longings.

But most of the times I don't and I put my lips on her forehead and strokes her hair gently and pats on her head gently.

She asks how she gets their, I told her she sleep walks and talks it makes her angry. I tell about weird things she do while sleepwalking and talking.

It makes her irritated and I love getting on her nerves. I love how she rolls her eyes on me and sighs and give me pointed looks and tell how silly of a man I am for her.

There are occasional nights when she sleeps beforehead, on those nights I peep into her room to know if she is asleep and good.

The most the important thing I care about her eating plenty of food, I know it willyake her time to eat normally and without forcing herself. I dont push her to eat but I make sure she eat healthy and atleast have a bowl of fruits and juice if she not willing to eat much, but to my support she is not much of a whinner or faddish plus she wanted to be recovered and healthy.

I know she sometimes think she is a burden on us but no, she makes me sane. And makes me want to grow more and more of a person and forget about my problem while being around her. I assure her I am ok taking care of her and I know I am not mucb of use to her. But still i try my best to be there for her.

AND YOU SAY THAT SHE IS JUST A GIRL WHO IS SHARING ROOF WITH YOU.......

my heart asked me this question all of a sudden........