Cynthia Romani. she has walls built up so people don't get close. All that comes crashing when the extrovert boy with a hidden persona crumbles those walls down.
Aleksandr Ivanov, joker and a ladies man. Always drawn to her but hated it, he was a m...
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"Who was Olivia to you?" I stare at my therapist then avert my gaze back to the wall behind her, she looks at me with a blank expression. I hate this place, I hate being here. I hate how I made so much progress and I went back to square one.
"Livvy was my best friend, she was the sister I never had." She writes something down and sighs at me, "How did she pass if you feel like sharing." I can't even say it out loud, it becomes to real.
"I don't feel like talking anymore." She closes her stupid notebook and stands, "then I guess we can end this session for today." I run out of the room like it's on fire. Aleksandr is waiting for me downstairs in his car.
Seeing him was such a relief, I felt suffocated in there. I feel like I'm spiraling and everyone is fine. The two people I confided in are gone, they left me.
"How was it?" I shrug my shoulders and sit down in the passenger seat. " I want to go home." The car drive was silent, and I don't know what to do with myself anymore. How do you prepare yourself to bury your best friend.
Instead of taking me home Aleksandr drove us to the beach. "What are we doing here? I thought you were taking me home." He caresses my cheek and gently kisses me.
"You need to Let it out Cynthia." I'm perfectly fine I don't know what he wants from me. He's holding my hand tightly as if I'm going to run away.
He sits us down and pulls me against his chest, I'm looking at the waves rolling in and out thinking of Olivia's last moments. Was she in pain? All the what if's are replaying in my head.
"Olivia loved the beach, summer was her favorite and she'd come pick me up so we could surf. I mostly watched her ride the waves."
I couldn't stop the tears from falling, "god I feel like you always see me crying." I'm so pathetic honestly, "cry all you want Cynthia I'll always be here to wipe your pretty tears away."
Fucking hell. "You're the strongest person I know. You've been knocked down once and gotten up.
It may have taken you some time, but you got up. The universe is trying to knock you down again, and like the first time you'll get right back up again.
Olivia isn't gone, she lives in your heart forever. She would want you to live life for her."
I'm a crying mess and true to his words he wiped my tears. "I love you." My eyes widened at the fact I said that out loud. Aleksandr though he's smiling so hard.
"Say it again." I breathe in a shaky breath and look at him, "I love you so so much." He captures my lips into a kiss.
"You make me crazy darling, love you so fucking much." He kisses me again. And for a while we sit in each others embrace watching the waves roll in and out.
"How's Dimitri?" I'm worried about him and so is everyone who cares about him.
"Dimitri will be fine he's stopped drinking, he leaves his room even if it's just to come into mine." I sigh in relief. My heart hurts for Dimitri he was always overprotective of Olivia. I think he truly loved her, even if it was for a short time. Olivia left knowing she was loved.
"Ask him if he wants to come with me to Olivia's house, I'm bringing her stuff to my house. Maybe he wants to keep something." I know stepping into her house will fill me with anxiety, that house was filled with negative memories for Olivia.
Her room though that's where we laughed the most, we talked for hours, cried together, it was her safe heaven. Her funeral will take place on Friday, and I made sure everything will be perfect. This time I was present in the planning. It hurt choosing her casket, most of all her picture.
"You okay darling?" I looked at my sweet Aleksandr. I'm so lucky to have him, I'm begging the universe to never take him from me, he makes me truly happy. "I'll be okay, just need time you know? I'm hungry though." He smiles and helps me up.
We ended up buying food and my heart was content as we talked and ate. I know I'm mad at God right now, but I'm glad he sent me him.
Thursday came and I'm entering Olivia's house, Dimitri is right behind me and he looks as miserable as me. Upon entering her house I feel like crying my eyes out. You can feel her presence.
I look at the house its very clean mostly due to Olivia constantly cleaning. I slowly walked over to her room and opened the door. My eyes instantly teared up at seeing her room with all her decorations.
I stepped in and saw her boxes packed in the corner, she was this close to being with me, my sweet livvy. "Cynthia... I can't I'll put her boxes in the car." Dimitri voice shook as he said it and I nodded my head in understanding.
I walked around looking at her shelves, picture frames of us from childhood all the way to our teens were up. She had Polaroids, Photo Booth pictures, tickets from when we went to concerts.
I couldn't stop the tears from falling and quietly sobbed on the floor. I began to grab all of our pictures to put in a box as I'm walking to her closet I noticed a small black box hidden in between some shoes.
I carefully retrieve it and open it, there was more pictures but from her childhood, and letters. My name was on it, the second letter was Dimitri's name, the third for my father, and lastly one for Aleksandr.
I got up and put the letters in my bag, and then began to pack what she valued most.
I didn't find anything else worth saving and walked out the house with all the boxes and bags. Dimitri helped me and when I looked at him, he looked as if he'd just cried.
Me and Dimitri are alike in many ways I didn't realize before. "We'll be alright Dimitri, she's still with us." He nods at me "yeah, she is." As he said that two butterflies fly around us. I Chose to believe it was my mother and Olivia.
