Cynthia Romani. she has walls built up so people don't get close. All that comes crashing when the extrovert boy with a hidden persona crumbles those walls down.
Aleksandr Ivanov, joker and a ladies man. Always drawn to her but hated it, he was a m...
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I feel like I can't trust anyone, I give and I give, but I'm not enough somehow. How can people be so cruel? I swear I tried to be the best friend I could, I was always supportive of them. And to find out they only became my friends because of my wealth status. It caused some trust issues within me.
I don't think I can ever forgive and forget what they said. They were my best friends. Words hurt, they hurt even worse when someone means it. And those girls meant every word they said.
To go as low as to mention my mother, the one person who keeps me sane in this world. They deserve worse than what Aleksandr did.
I don't think I will ever have a real friend besides Olivia and still, I'm hesitant on whether she feels that way about me as well. What if she talked behind my back and just wasn't there to join in on the conversation?
I wanted to say worse, do worse things to them, but at that moment I was so shocked. I've never once cared about my looks but now when I look into the mirror, I can't help but think of their hurtful words.
maybe I should lose some weight, or change my whole personality so people would like me. I'm exhausted from always crying.
~ Cynthia R.
I close my journal and wipe the tears from my face. I lay in bed and just stared at my ceiling, what happened yesterday keeps replaying in my head in a constant loop. They weren't sorry even when I barged into their conversation they meant it all. My knees have bruises from where they pushed me down and my head is a little sore from how hard they pulled me.
Sydney: I'm sorry Cynthia.
Jackie: I didn't do anything wrong.
I can't forgive them, I just can't. I go into my phone and look at the pictures of us. Did they fake all the good memories we had? Was that real? I'm deleting group pictures and blocking them on everything. I guess I had outgrown them but deep down I was hoping the girls I was friends with since middle school were still in there.
I go to my mother's room and lay next to her and cry. She's trying to console me but I can't stop crying, can't stop thinking about my weight, can't stop my heart from feeling this deep sadness.
"what's wrong my sweet girl?" her voice was full of concern but I couldn't tell her the hurtful things they said about her. My mother's declining health broke me and for them to throw it in my face is cruel. Who makes fun of someone's mother who is constantly battling with her health?
"I just need you to hug me please, mamma." and she does exactly that. my mother caresses my hair and I feel somewhat at ease. "don't let anyone diminish your light, Cynthia." I breathe in and nod. I did indeed change, but I was always a good friend to them. ——————————————————- Author note: short chapter but I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know your thoughts on this book I don't know how I feel about it.
