Echoing J.A.C.I.E. (All Time Low Fanfiction | Jack Barakat)

Chapter 2

Being awake at 5 am was supposed to be acceptable. An early start to a day was always commendable. But it wasn't optimal if bedtime was 3 am. It meant I had gotten less than two hours of sleep. It started out as a restful night, but turning around at some point gave my mind just enough space to start running freely. Sleep was replaced with thoughts in no time.

I tried counting sheep, I attempted to clear my mind, I even snuggled up to Jack, spooning him from behind. But none of it worked. My brain was full of ideas, inspiration, worries, fears, and uncertainties.

Instead of staying in bed, tossing and turning until I woke up Jack, I decided it was best to have a change of scenery. My decision was sealed with a kiss to Jack's cheek – the way I always warned him I would be getting out of bed so he wouldn't worry. Usually, he didn't react much, if at all, but it was a promise I had made.

It seemed like I wasn't the only one who had the need to go do something while everybody else was asleep. The entire living area was dark except for one dimmed warm orange glow in the living room. Alex had made himself comfortable, lying down on a few pillows on the floor, his feet up on the couch.

"What are you doing up?" I wondered out loud, stopping to look at him.

He rolled his head towards me, not at all shocked by my presence. "Oh, you know, just overthinking."

"Hey, I'm quite good at that myself, mind if I join?"

He shuffled over slightly, making two more pillows appear. They were put down next to him, making me my own little comfortable enclave. I carefully stepped on over and lied down next to him. Our arms were touching, his own skin feeling cool against mine. Together, we stared ahead in silence. The fridge hummed quietly, providing white noise to our moment of reflection.

"What are you thinking about?" I risked breaking the tranquillity, my eyes staying fixed on the blank ceiling.

Alex sighed heavily, a hint of dejection behind it all. "Everything."

I hummed in response, acknowledging his words. 'Everything' did not mean everything. It meant everything going on in his life. But it was easy to spiral. A little too easy. This wasn't the first time the two of us met each other in the dark.

"I wish there was something I could do to help," I said, turning my head to look at him. His eyes were still searching the ceiling for answers that wouldn't come.

He ended up breaking out of his trance and made eye contact with me. "Just being a friend is more than enough."

I gave my best attempt at a smile before looking away again. The silence returned, falling over us like a warm blanket. As an extra sign of support, I searched out for his hand with my own. It wasn't hard to carefully slip my fingers in between his with our proximity. He accepted the touch, interlocking our palms together. It was a touch that kept us grounded, something to stop up from floating away towards the black holes waiting for us.

Still, my own thoughts wouldn't stop racing. It was all so overwhelming – the past, the present, the future. I'd never felt so certain about things and so lost before. My tendency to wait with dealing with my emotions was catching up to me again. My life was moving so fast. It was hard to keep up.

"What about you?" Alex whispered after a few minutes of stillness.

I let out a breathy chuckle. "What isn't there to think about?"

"You don't have to tell me twice."

And the conversation died down again, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I thought about Jack, who I'd left alone in our bed. I was supposed to be up there, telling him all about what was on my mind. It was something I had promised. I always promised that I'd let him know if I felt myself spiral again. And usually, I did. I felt guilty. Guilty because I wasn't. Guilty if I did wake him up. Guilty that I was feeling this way.