Echoing J.A.C.I.E. (All Time Low Fanfiction | Jack Barakat)

Chapter 18

One late morning, I woke up feeling different. My eyes weren't crusty from crying all night, my chest felt just the tiniest bit lighter, and the cramps in my abdomen weren't as bad as they'd been before. There was a subtle shift in the air. Maybe I wasn't fully myself yet, but for once, I wasn't dreading the day.

With cautious optimism, but optimism nonetheless, I got out of my bed just minutes after waking up and pushed myself to leave the room that had been my sanctuary. The living room had a new sense of familiarity to it. It was like everything was being illuminated by a new kind of light, a light that shone whenever I came over before I even left for London.

My dad looked up from his laptop as he saw me walking in. "Morning, Sweetheart."

"Morning," I replied, pulling a glass out of the cupboard for myself. "Do you want some coffee?"

Surprise flashed across his face before he quickly downed what was left in his cup. "Yeah, that would be nice."

I turned the coffee machine on and grabbed his cup so I could fill it once the machine had warmed up. In the meantime, I got myself a glass of water, refraining from caffeine for the time being.

"I made Ben some pancakes for breakfast earlier this morning. There are still some in the fridge if you'd like," my dad said carefully, his eyes flickering in the direction of the fridge.

Pancakes did sound good, actually. For the past week and a half, my appetite had been non existent. Breakfast was skipped more often than not, and lunch and dinner made me nauseous to the point of vomiting sometimes. Now, though, the idea of pancakes made my mouth water and my stomach grumble.

I took the plate out of the fridge, three round pancakes displayed neatly. As I made my dad's coffee, I added some syrup and got myself a fork and knife. Once the coffee finished dispensing, I took everything with me to the table and sat adjacent to him. He gave me a smile as I put the cup next to his laptop.

"What are you working on?" I asked as I took my first bite of the pancakes.

"Oh, umm, it's just some reports for work," he replied, seemingly surprised by my sudden interest. "Nothing too exciting, you know."

I nodded and continued eating. The sweetness of the pancakes was something I could only savour. Each mouthful felt like a victory, a step towards my normal self. My dad tried to focus on his work, but kept glancing in my direction, processing my sudden progress.

"I think I'm going to go out on a walk today," I announced as I put my fork and knife down. "You know, get back out, get some fresh air."

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked with concern.

I shook my head as I drank some water. "I think I'll do this one by myself."

"Okay. You know where to find me."

After cleaning up, I took a shower and got changed. Maybe I wasn't wearing jeans yet, but everything so far was a step in the right direction. And they were steps to be proud of. I put on some shoes for the first time since I had arrived back in LA, grabbed a light jacket, and went out to wander around the neighbourhood for a bit.

I went at a slow pace, passing by all the houses. Usually, I was a fast walker, but I was so out of shape. It was okay, though. I was on the road of improvement. It felt good to get some fresh air. It was cold for LA standards, but it was nothing compared to the dark rainy days back in London. Hazel had told me how she'd wear two pairs of gloves on top of each other when walking to work now.

As I passed a park the two of us used to play in as kids, I decided now would be a good time to call Jack. I took my phone out of my pockets and dialled his number, waiting to see if he'd pick up.

The dial tones stopped and his voice came through. "Hey, Jace."

"Hey, hey," I smiled, glad he picked up without a warning that I was going to call.

He immediately asked the same question he asked every time we called. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit better, actually, I'm out on a walk right now and don't feel like I might pass out at any moment."

"That's good." His response was accompanied by a subtle exhale. "How's your dad?"

"He's good, I think. I don't know what I would've done without him." I kept walking, taking a mental note to help my dad out if he ever needed me.

"Listen, Jacie," Jack began, his voice carrying a hint of struggle. "I... I wish I could be there with you. I hate that I'm not."

"It's okay, Jack. I know there was no other way." I shook my head as if that would help get my point across. There was no other way we could have dealt with this hard time. "How's tour going? Anything interesting happen today?"

"The usual," he replied without much excitement in his voice. "Zack went out to the gym, Alex and Rian decided to go down to the harbour, some of the crew found a seafood restaurant they won't stop raving about."

"What about you? What did you do?" I pressed, eager to share in the fragments of his day.

There was a brief pause on the other end, as if Jack was carefully choosing his words. "You know, just caught up on some tv shows, tried playing some video games. It's busy. Just taking some time to rest."

"Well, that sounds great too," I offered as a reassuring response. Usually he'd go out with others, but we all had slow days.

"Yeah, it's been a long stretch of shows. I could use a day off."

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, as if Jack was navigating his thoughts. When he spoke again, his words carried a weight I hadn't expected.

"I miss you, Jacie," he confessed, the vulnerability in his voice catching me off guard.

I frowned, wondering where this was coming from. "I miss you too."

A silence settled between us. My footsteps crunched against the asphalt as I slowed down further. I could hear him breathe out heavily.

"Jack, is everything okay?" I probed, a thread of worry woven into my words.

"Yeah, of course, everything is fine," he assured quickly, as if it was rehearsed. "I just woke up from a nap ten minutes ago. I don't think I'm fully awake yet."

My concern persisted as I came to a full stop. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I just didn't get much sleep last night. We went out to a bar and things got a bit late."

"Okay, well, I love you," I declared, stressing the last three words, hoping he knew he could tell me anything.

"I love you too," he whispered with a hint of longing. "I'm counting down the days until I fly back home."

"Yeah?" I chuckled, resuming my walk and putting my empty hand in my pocket. "How many days is that?"

"Nineteen, excluding the day I fly back."

"That's practically nothing," I scoffed, although I was also ready for that time to already be over. "We've done six weeks, we can do this. Easy."

"I guess. I still can't wait to see you again."

"I'll set a countdown on my phone," I promised.