She Conceived A Morgan's Child

Chapter XXVI: Survival

Chapter 26

•Rowena•

"Just why do you have to do that to the poor guy? It seems to me he still have feelings for you," Patricio complained while feeding me with rice porridge.

"You know what? Right now, I wanna cut your hair," he even added that made me arch my eyebrows.

"Why won't you tell him he's the father of Benjamin, the very first time I saw him I immediately noticed the resemblance," he pointed out. Alam ko rin naman yon. I know Fabio deserves to know. One day he will and I know it's inevitable.

"It's just... I don't know, it makes me afraid. I'm afraid to tell him, sa dami ng nangyare. Sa lahat ng pain na binigay ko... I just, I just don't have the guts to do so," I almost whispered.

"What has already been done is already done. You cannot take back the pain and for sure he wasn't the only one who suffered. You suffered a lot too. You escaped and took the risk of staying in an unfamiliar country to you just so you could protect your child how is that not enough reason for you to stop your suffering Rowena?"

"I met them again... I know what they're capable of. I don't want them to do the same thing aga-"

"Then ask for his help... Hindi mo kailangang lumaban mag-isa. No one told you to fight alone. Yes they maybe your parents and you're still afraid of them but Rowena magulang ka narin and if you think what you're doing right now is protecting your child then I apologize but you are wrong. If you can't do that for yourself then do it for your child. At least try to tell him and it's up to him to decide whether he's going to introduce himself or remain as it is."

"I'm afraid he's going to be mad at me-"

"You lived those six years of your life feeling sorry for hurting that man. What are you afraid for right now?" He asks and held my hand. Hindi ako nakakibo, Patricio had a point. Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit may pumipigil sa'kin. Hindi ko mawari kung ano yon. Well maybe because in my mind, all those sacrifices I did before will be in vain if I go back to him right now.

It made me fear telling him even more after the closure talks we had pagpasok ko sa office. He didn't even harbor any anger towards me. I could see the man I loved before, no, I always saw that man yet I refused to look. The atmosphere in the office became lighter and he finally managed to smile at me. Deep down there's a hole in my heart which those smiles are digging up.

Would he still be able to smile for me if he learns the biggest pain I caused him? There are questions lingering in my mind, what will he do after if he finds out? Will he forgive me? Again? What am I even thinking? Of course he's not. I saw his desire for his unborn child before, how could he forgive me when I took that away and worst I didn't take good care of Benjamin that's why he stayed for so long in the hospital before. Ano nalang ang sasabihin ni Benjamin sa'kin?

"At dahil nakabalik na si Ms. Rowena, this calls for a celebration! Tara dun sa baba!"

I was startled when Reuben and Angie suddenly grabbed my hand at patakbo akong inaya pababa. Everyone came with them downstairs and hindi na ako nakaangal nung pagdating namin sa restaurant.

"Parang malulunod kana sa iniisip mo Ms. Rowena ah, what occupies your mind ba hah?" Tanong ni Reuben pagupo na pag upo namin.

"Pano n'yo naman nasabi?"

"Hello? Kanina kapa namin inaayaya, dika sumasagot nakatunganga lang kaya hinila kana namin. Don't worry sagot ni Sir Fab to, susunod s'ya mamaya," Reuben commented. Umayos naman ako ng upo.

"Wala, just some things at home," sagot ko.

"Mukhang good mood si Sir these days ahhh. Ano may love life naba sya? Nagkalabel naba?"