The Lorax was having an eepy day and he was so tired and sad. Jeff Bezos wanted to cheer him up with a nice dinner but he couldn't use any plants because the Lorax speaks for the trees, so Jeff stepped on one of his Amazon workers and then called up the Once-ler (The Once-ler uses he/they pronouns you can't convince my friend otherwise) who was the Lorax's ex but it's okay because they were still friendly. The Once-ler just wouldn't stop playing his guitar at the Lorax and it was getting annoying so they broke up...
Ok anyways The Once-ler was of no help and Jeff Bezos asked the Lorax if he wanted to instead go to McDonald's because he realized he couldn't cook and all he had was plants (weed) in the house. The Lorax said yes! And the two of them feasted on Mc chicken nuggets while they looked into each others eyes adoringly. But then suddenly a figure stormed into the restaurant. It was Elon Musk?!
"You're dead Jeffery! I will claim your Amazon empire and become the richest man in the world!" Elon Musk spat.
The Lorax's big bushy eyebrows furrowed. "I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees, now I'm going to break your knees!"
"NOOO!" Elon wailed and crumpled to the ground. The Lorax was so scawwy!! OoooOOOOoo!
"You're gonna shit yourself now," demanded Jeff. "Or I'm gonna do it for you."
"Y-yessir!!" cried Elon as he shitted himself on command. It smelled like dookie and it was awful.
All of a sudden, the Once-ler came in, and the Lorax felt his heart stop. The Once-ler was so handsome. He hasn't changed at all, and the Lorax was suddenly hit by a wave of longing so strong it almost knocked the creature voiced by Danny Devito off his tiny little creature feet.
"What's going on here?" inquired the Once-ler oncelery. The Lorax gulped, suddenly caring very much about what the twink thought of him.
"Uh, nothing-"
"Elon is trying to steal my man," said Jeff, glaring at the Once-ler. "And I don't take nicely to man stealers." The Lorax felt his heart drop. He was on a date and he was thinking lustful thoughts about his ex!
"It's not what it looks like," The Lorax tried to say, but the Once-ler was already looking at him with contempt.
"I really look up to Elon," The Once-ler snapped. "You made him a fool." Then he walked out, and the Lorax cried and broke up with Jeff.
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