Random Crackfics (Multifandom)

Oscar The Grouch on a Field Trip with The Frizz? No Way!

Oscar used every ounce of his strength to try and free himself from the ropes tying him down to the school bus seat but it was no use, he growled and stared daggers at the insane woman driving the magic school bus, none other than the crazy Ms. Frizzle. 

"Where are you taking me bitch?!" 

"On a little field trip!" she beamed. "We'll have lots of fun..."

"You're insane!" he screamed. He watched in horror as Ms. Frizzle took a sharp right turn, almost tipping the bus over and drove straight toward the cliff. "Why are you doing this?" he cried. "What about the children?" There was a group of children in the back of the bus hugging each other and crying.

"You know," began Ms. Frizzle as Spike slithered up her shoulder, "The word 'insane' is very problematic these days. You should try and remove it from your vocabulary. In addition, you shouldn't be calling women 'bitches'. Some people consider it a slur against women." 

"Wow," said Oscar the Grouch, suddenly reevaluating his life-choices. "Are you telling me that this could have all been avoided if I just respected women more?" 

Ms. Frizzle smiled. "Yes! I'm glad you learned this episode's lesson." 

Oscar smiled back. Then he noticed the children were still screaming and the bus was still careening toward the edge of the world. "I've learned my lesson!" he shouted nervously. "You can stop now!" 

Ms. Frizzle gives him a stunning smile full of white teeth. "A normal lesson with the Frizz?"

 With a chorus of "No way!" from the backseat containing all the terrified children, the bus fell off the sheer side of the cliff, killing everyone inside and the two tourists that it ended up landing on. Oscar the Grouch was canceled two days later, and nobody felt bad for his death. When the word got out he was problematic, a boycott was placed on all Sesame Street properties.