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Beyoncé | Los Angeles, California
1 week after Solina's Deployment
"How you holding up?" Kelly asked me as my head laid in her lap. I sighed, "I'm—fine? I don't know. Everything has been such an emotional roller coaster so far with trying to reassure Blue multiple times that Lina will be okay but her little mind just overthinks so much like mine that she can't believe what I'm saying until she comes back. It just makes me sad that I can't do anything really" I told her.
Solina has only been gone for a week and the whole atmosphere of Blue and I's life so far has felt like it has been crumbling. Blue has been moping around the house and she's been mostly spending her time in Lina's bed. I pulled her out of school for a good two weeks and moved her classes online since I knew Lina's departure took a toll on her mentally.
Me on the other hand, I've been burying myself in work. Every time I thought about her my mind just ran straight to all the kisses we shared up to her deployment. She promised me a date when she comes home so that's the only thing that kept my hopes high that she would come home safely.
Call it self destructive but I don't care. I was praying that she will be home and safe in time for Blue's eleventh birthday.
Right now, I was here at Kelly's house. Blue was over a friends house for a birthday party so here I was with Solange, Kelly, Angie, and Michelle as a way to take my mind off of Solina.
"So you know nothing of why she was called in so early?" Michelle asked, still sort of thrown out the loop over the whole situation. I sat up and nodded, "she was meant to have six months off but she barely made it to three before she was called in. Apparently her major thinks her team is better at handling whatever terrorist threats that is happening" I told her.
"Have you heard anything from Shawn?" Angie asked. I rolled my eyes and huffed, "yeah—he won't sign the fucking papers and now he's trying to take me to court for a custody battle. Great timing for Lina to leave too" I huffed as I put my head in my hands. "You need Solina here for custody? I'm not understanding" Solange said.
I sat back on the couch again before grabbing my wine glass and taking a sip.
"Because that nigga's name is on literally everything, he can try and put up a strong fight. You know he has more power than me. Solina would have made this much easier since she's her actual parent. Now that she's still an active soldier and I'm in the process of a tour, they could easily give it to him since his old ass isn't doing anything" I clarified for her and she nodded. "But isn't Blue way past the age to choose who she wants?" Angie asked and I nodded.
I haven't heard from Shawn in almost a month until two days ago. I had my lawyer give him the divorce papers the day after we got my stuff from the house. I haven't seen him since then and I rather keep it that way.
