I'm Gonna Be Ready

Never leave

Prologue
Love is overrated, I still maintain. A conversation my friends and I started, we are down town, having drinks. It’s Friday evening.
My feet are cold in these sandals, these jeans are too tight, Nelly thought it would be a good idea, to throw me a farewell party. I got a job in the department arts and culture, after working for 6 years Mitts, working as a web consultant.
I finally finished my Diploma in Corporate Communications, earning me the post in Pretoria, my boyfriend well ex now, tried making me his punching bag and I left, mama didn’t raise a bag.
“Earth to Ore.” Rosy calls out my name.
“We are moving out, taking the party to club Fly, and you are riding with me.” She slurps her drink.
“No, I can’t. I need to finish packing, my flight is tomorrow evening and I have breakfast with the family.”
“Don’t be a party pooper.” Nelly.
“Yeah, come on.” The guys cheer.
“You guys can drop me off at the flat and pick me up for the good bye breakfast at home?”
“Okay, one shot for the road.” Someone calls out.
“I can’t , I’m expecting.”
“Oh my gosh, explains the your appetite.” Rosy.
“Congratulations mama, I guess we are road tripping to Pretoria for your baby shower.” Kele.
“Im the godmother.” Sabs shouts.
“Mother? Sabs, I am the ultimate momsicle.” JoJo claims.
“I found out first about the baby, I found her first, so I am the Godmother.” I laugh watching my friends, fighting over roles. I am surly going to miss them. They toast to the baby and I, then settle the bill.
I ride with Sabs, he questions me about the baby and ex. I honestly tell him that I am sad, I can’t even be excited about the baby. I give everyone a hug after the walk me to the door. I lock the door and a blow to my head sends me down, face first, landing on my stomach which sends a sharp pain to my lower abdomen.
I groan in pain and try to get up but a kick to my stomach,sends me across the room, hitting the coffee table. A heavy box lends on my back. “You thought I would let you leave me just like that? I asked you out and I will end up. For now we will play.” Nkosi screams, my head hurt, I touch my head and I feel wetness. I let cry out when I see blood on my hand. My vision is blurry, I feel light headed, I close my eyes a little and open them, Nkosi has me tied to my chair, my hands behind the chair.“My baby Nko..” A punch to the side of my face, shuts me up as I cry, tasting blood in my mouth. My eye shuts,making it hard to see with one eye.
The smell of paraffin wakes me up, Nkosi is like a mad man. He is pouring it all over the room, my open plan gives him enough room. I try calling him out, my voice fails me.
“The bab..”
“AHH, you are awake. I told you only death would separate us, I begged you to be my second wife and you refused.”he walks to me and stabs my hand with the chefs knife my mother gifted me.
“I stay, please Nkosi. I will.” I beg as he stabs my thigh. There’s a phone ringing and it’s not mine, he jumps up and searches for the phone. He finds it and he chokes me asking whose phone it is, he slaps and punches my stomach, repeatedly saying that my boyfriend got me pregnant.
“You cheated on me? Me Nkosinathi, the heir to Langa co?” He spits loudly. The phone rings again, which only angers him. He throws the phone on the wall and lends on the floor broken.
One last punch and he leaves me, my body wants me to sleep, my fear is stopping me from shutting my eyes.*glass breaking* I startle up and look around. Something is burning, *cough* I call out his name,  panic raises when I can’t breathe, my chest feels like I ran a marathon, the smell of burning wood, gets worse. I struggle to open my right eye, I wish I didn’t, the burning on my toes and under feet hurts so much. I try lifting my heavy legs, the cramps in my stomach, stop me. I cross legs to try and protect feet one at a time.
“Dear God, please get me out of here. I promise to attend church every Sunday,*Cough*and to visit my parents. It hurts God, take me, it hurts.” I’m dizzy now*Cough*
*Ngizolibonga, ngizolibonga (,Ngizolibonga, elakho igama ,Igama elithi, Jesu, Jesu, Jesu,Igama elihle , Liyanganelisa, lingihlabelelisa *the sing plays in my head as I take laboured breaths, the end is near, the heat of the fire makes me sweat, the droplets running on my back and forehead. The smell of disinfectant, is so strong. I try opening my eyes to see where I am, Thabo could come back and finish us off. I need to leave.

Lerato, Lesedi le Kganya.