Invited

Fifty-Seven - Timber

Lara wanted Talia to braid her hair. That was the first thing she said to her. I thought it was funny. Talia on the other hand was harder to read. Watching them really relaxed me. Initially, I'd been nervous that perhaps they wouldn't get along. Lara had been in love with Rumor because she filled a need in her life for a girlish authority figure who would do things like fix her hair, play with dolls, or whatever else it was they did. I wasn't sure if Talia was going to be up for doing any of those things. She had her moments when she could be girlie, but she also didn't get as into it as a lot of the other girls I'd met.

At first, the tension was clear. Talia's entire body was stiff as she brushed out Lara's hair and listened to her talk. Once she got going on the braiding, however, she started to relax. Eventually, a smile crept onto her face, and the two were bonding in no time. Talk about a relief. They started talking about all sorts of things. Most of it I didn't catch. Small talk, nothing big. Lara asked a million questions about Talia and how she got her hair to be so red and her favorite colors and if she liked dressing up and just about everything under the sun.

When they were finished, Lara ran off to get her homework. Talia exhaled slowly. "She's cute. I see why you like her so much."

"She's pretty laid back, don't worry." I cracked a smile. It wasn't much, but it counted for something, right?

"Do you think she likes me?"

"I don't see why she doesn't," I said.

Talia shrugged. "Kids are unpredictable sometimes. I..."

"Hmm?" I asked. She was being weird again, even for her and the situation. The things plaguing her from before were still present. For a moment, she picked at her fingernails, raking her bottom lip between her teeth.

Frowning, I walked over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

She sighed. "Is she going to be enough for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"For...kids. I know this whole mission is for us to be fruitful and multiply. But I'm not sure that's going to happen."

"If you don't want any, I won't make you..." I said softly. "We've talked about this before."

She shook her head. "It has nothing to do with me not wanting any. I mean, no, being pregnant right now would not be on the top of my list of things to do either way but...what I'm saying is...I...I can't..." And as soon as the tears started to fall from her eyes, I knew exactly what she was trying to communicate to me – and why it was so hard.

"How long have you known about this?" I asked softly. More out of curiosity than anything else. It'd been something she'd known about for long enough to really sit and chew on it to the point where she was worried about us.

"Since I was like, seventeen," she said. "I started having some issues with my girl parts...just trying to be delicate here...and my doctor said chances of me ever being able to have kids were slim, near impossible. I'd need a miracle. You know, that sort of thing. At least I figured it out before I settled down and..."

I swallowed, listening to her. She'd known for a lot longer than I'd been anticipating. It didn't necessarily change anything between us, yet I couldn't help but wonder why it was just coming up for the first time now after we'd been together for so long.

She spun around in my arms, forcing me to gaze down into her eyes. "You're mad at me."

"No," I whispered. "I'm not mad at you. It's a big thing, but...I mean...do you honestly think I'd leave you?"

"I wasn't sure. Some people are pretty set on having their own children. Sure, right now, kids weren't a part of our game plan. Neither of us wanted to get cozy with the white picket fence until we were at least thirty. It didn't seem worth mentioning if we weren't at the point where we were planning on growing old together."

That stung a lot more than it probably should have. No, we hadn't discussed getting married or anything. Work was a priority for us both, but when she worded things like that it made our relationship sound so much more casual than it seemed. Like she could change her mind, break up with me, and not feel a thing.

I grabbed her hands with my own. "By the time I figured out I wanted to marry you, it wouldn't have made a difference. You're right; kids haven't been on the radar. They still aren't, not really. So don't freak out about it."

"What about in the future?"

"I don't know. I can't see the future. It's not one of my amazing super powers." I smirked.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm being serious here!"

"Yes, I'm aware." I cupped her chin with my hand. "Talia, I don't want to promise one way or another that it won't ever bother me. That doesn't seem fair. I can tell you, it's not going to change how I feel about you. Okay? Regardless of if we talked about growing old together or not, I...I've been hoping for a long time that I could do it with you."

"Really?" Her eyes sparkled as the light hit the remaining tears still present in them.

Shrugging, I averted my gaze away, feeling like a sappy, lovesick idiot. Just like me, the hopeless romantic. It wouldn't have been the first time I got more emotionally involved with someone than they were with me.

And of course, she laughed at me. "Man, you look like I just shot your dog. I'm just surprised you'd even think about me so...fatalistically. I mean, it's me. I'm bratty, I'm frustrating, I'm –"

I kissed her softly. "You're perfect for me. Why else do you think we've stayed together for so long? I don't keep toxic girls in my life."

"And I don't keep loser guys in mine," she said.

"Hey, if you think I'm a loser..." I teased.

She rolled her eyes, slugging my shoulder. "I'd have dumped your butt a long time ago, and you know it. So are you saying if none of this would have happened, you'd have proposed?"

"Eventually. Assuming you or I didn't fly off the deep end, that is. Eventually meaning a few more years down the road."

"And now?"

"Now, I'm not sure if there is a thing called marriage. My answer of 'eventually' still stands, but maybe not the waiting for a few years part. There aren't film and tour schedules to work around, or contracts for that matter. All of the stressful time things that stop us from doing anything we want to do."

Talia hugged me close, nuzzling her face against my chest. "Thank you for putting up with me."

"It's really not as bad as you think, promise."

I held her close. Looking up, I saw Lara lingering the hallway with her homework in her arms. I nodded at her, letting her know it was okay for her to come in. Her timid nature still being present made it clear she had a lot of self-confidence issues that would probably be around for most of her life. The fact that a girl of six had them made me hate her parents all the more. I selfishly hoped they failed at their efforts to rehabilitate, now more than ever.