Issues

52

TW:
Semi-Sexual content
Self harm thoughts
Self harm

One week later.

We've been avoiding each other, okay maybe 'we' means me.

After two days I found out his schedule, what time he goes where, what and why, etc.

By my mistake I ended up breaking one of the wine glasses, when I was zoned out, in my own thoughts, the housekeeping kept me aside to clean up the mess but I managed to sneak a piece of glass, to relieve myself, in my own manner.

Lorenzo made his efforts to talk to me, bought me shit, and anything or everything. It's not gonna work.

My eyes travel around the roof noticing the fixed in chandelier, when my mind begins to divert about Lorenzo.

Deep down in my heart, I know for a fact I'm going to forgive him for his actions and the decision he had made to push me out.

I just can't right now. I have to give it some time, if I get back to him, or have him come into my life he's gonna think I've forgotten what he did, he deserves some pushback as well.

He's the only one who made me feel like I could be loved. I've never been loved before, not even from my own parents. Every kid deserves the parent support and the love they receive.

I want to hold onto this love I've received especially in this type of specific situation. Now that I think of it I haven't even gotten action, well I mean I have but not the good kind of me and Lorenzo did.

I get up from my bed, head towards the bedroom door, close it completely making sure to lock it.

I head towards the bathroom closing that door behind me and locking it.

I start the shower and set it to warm-ish hot water to soothe my body's muscles.

Removing my clothes I make a little quick check to see if the water is hot enough for my liking and I hop into the shower, immediately the hot water soothes my body and my muscles.

Then Lorenzo came to my mind. I close my eyes a little trying to relax my mind, especially from having him bother my peace of mind.

But fuck, he's something I've been craving, I begin slowing bring my hand down rubbing myself gently, and having little moans leave my mouth.

Picturing Lorenzo touching me like he used to, how he pleased me, is something I've been wanting once again.

The more I thought of him the more I began rubbing, being myself closer to finishing.

I bring myself close to a satisfied finish.

Fuck Lorenzo, the things you make me do.

•

I have to talk to Lorenzo because I know for a fact he's not gonna talk to me.

Okay.. well maybe because of me he's not gonna talk to me.

He's tried and understood the message.

I did say I'm going to give back the 'pushback' he has given me as well, but I just can't stay in this awkward situation for any longer.

I will say that I missed him, and I want things to go back the way they were, or have them improved.

From my analysis Lorenzo comes home around 7:30 on Fridays, and his first stop is the kitchen.