Lola watched as Natalie's mother drove away, her eyes blank. She wished Natalie would just think of her for a minute, do something for another person by taking care of herself. She felt her mother's hand on her shoulder, but quickly shook it away.
"Alright, up, go- do the dishes or something."
"You just expect me to move on?" She snapped, she couldn't just live after watching her girlfriend struggle.
"Dwelling on it won't help."
"What?! But like- what if-"
"Lola, I don't-"
"She could be- she- like-" Lola curled her fingers in different ways, trying to emphasize and failing.
"I know-"
"No, mom, you don't know-"
"You don't-"
"You don't know how-"
"Let me speak-"
"Why should I let-"
"LOLA." Malachite finally put her foot down.
"Ughhh-" She hissed.
"Get outside. Finish baling the hay. Do anything."
"Can't I just go to my room??"
"Go upstairs, and there's no getting you down."
"My god-" Lola opened her shirt with an annoyed glare, the baggy mermaid tee she had underneath coming through.
"Just- ugh, we'll go finish baling the hay, we'll go from there, mhm."
"How is that supposed to help the fucking problem..." She grunted under her breath.
"Say that shit again, and you'll be working your little ass off till your bones hurt."
...
Flashback
Lola clung to one of her mother's arms as her eyes widened, watching a mottled cow struggle to breathe. "Momma...? Is she gonna be okay?"
"She's dyin', honey." She shook her head.
"Oh no..." Her little six-year-old brain didn't even want to think about death.
"Girl, death happens. It's permanent."
"But- but I don't wanna..." She whispered.
"I know, it's out of our control. Nature don't care about what you want." Her mother gently reminded her, but kept her words blunt.
"I don't want her to die..."
"It's not something you can stop, you can be sad about what you're losing, or you can move on."
"But I loved her-"
"And love means being able to let them go."
...
Present
"Up-" The hay scratching against Lola's hands as she heaved a bale up. Little scrapes into her hands that she refused to acknowledge, nothing could've been worse than what happened.
"We've got one more-" Her mother called up to her.
"Gotchu-"
"Double check it."
"Hmph..."
"Sorry about what happened today." She offered.
"Wish she'd just take care of herself!" Lola grunted. "It's her birthday on Saturday- We won't even be able to do anything fun! And it'll be her own fault!"
YOU ARE READING
Admiring the Light
Teen FictionFriendless and timid, Guinevere is stuck in her socially anxious shadow, content to let her sister lead and live a sheltered life. Without Natalie pushing her to break out of her comfort zone, she'd be trapped in fear. The world is scary, even her o...
