Admiring the Light

Ep 12

Speechless, Natalie laid her pup to rest in her bed. A forever sleep that God would watch over now, as she muttered a prayer under her breath. *Did dogs get a funeral?* She questioned, sending a text to her friends.

Your phone: 'callie passed while i was at school, y'all. idk what to do.'

She sniffled a bit, wiping her eyes when the little conversation bubble showed up in the chat, the ellipsis ebbing and flowing as someone went to respond to her. Still as she waited for any guidance in her frozen state. "Sport..." Her mind forced something from her throat. "SPORT... GUINEVERE..."

"Hey! Natalie, what-" The other girl creaked open her sister's door, her hands covering her mouth as she laid eyes on Callie's body. "Oh no... oh... don't tell me she-" Guinevere whispered.

"She... I... I need you to go uh..." Natalie barely whispered back, tightening her lips. "Sport... go get dad- please..."

With a silent nod, the sisters exchanged another pained glance as she dipped out. "Alex... oh my gosh..." Her green eyes dropped to her phone again.

alex: 'send a prayer to the big guy, nat. id call a vet or smth.'

lola :D: 'Oh dear! I'm sorry, Natalie! My deepest condolences to you, I will pray for your amazing pup and I hope she is peaceful in the afterlife. You will be sent a virtual hug and some money. Do you need anything?'

Your phone: 'nah i just-"

Natalie sighed and held her thumb on backspace. She didn't want to cry anymore, one-handing her phone as she continued muttering rosary prayers to herself. Her stomach wanted crap, she'd take the hour drive to Buffalo Wild Wings later. But that was later, not now, with her deceased pet behind her phone barrier.

"I'm sorry, Callie..." She sniffed, she hadn't been there, she hadn't been there...

"I- It's not your fault, Natalie." Guinevere's footsteps followed her voice. "Mom's coming to figure out what to do..."

But Natalie found little comfort in her sister's words, if anything, the hand flaps deepened her sense of guilt. She coildnt be sad. She needed to be here for everyone else. Her mother certainly wouldn't do anything.

Oh, the annoyed voice of "Morticia" only made her want to shout. She had no interest in dealing with this, if her mother felt so inconvenienced, she didn't have to deal with this. "Natalie, where's the little bitch."

"IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY IT." A deep growl of a snap erupted from Natalie's throat, but her minty eyes squeezed when she saw the surprised look on her mother's face.

"We could cremate her-" Katherine offered, her arm limply hanging from the other. "Probably the cheapest option." Her eyes flicked to Callie's body so she didn't have to look at her daughter. "I'll cover it... If I really have to..."

"You didn't even LOVE HER." Natalie snapped back, her eyes fill of tears as she pulled her soft pitbull back up into her arms. "YOU DIDN'T LOVE HER."

"DO YOU WANT MY HELP OR NOT, UNGRATEFUL SHIT?" Her burning stare met Natalie's. "I ASKED FOR DAD, BUT YOU CAME."

"STOP SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER!" Guinevere cried out, her sharp voice amounting to nothing between Katherine's logic and Natalie's emotions. But with the sudden loss and the fighting and her sister suddenly getting involved, the oldest stormed her way out of her bedroom, away from the noise and tears running down her face. Hot breath coming from her mouth and sweating from seemingly everywhere under her clothes as her mind struggled against a stampede of now unregulated emotions that needed to be controlled again.

Every part of her was just feeling incredibly risky, she hadn't felt the intrusive thoughts in years. Her feet taking every other step down, until safely she landed in the living room, she knew it was wrong but she just needed to give in.