Admiring the Light

Ep 47

Natalie sighed as her view adjusted to a blank tiled ceiling. Cocking her head to the side, she noticed a line of empty chairs, with Lola at the end. "I feel like... whenever I black out you're always the first thing I see again..."

"Girl, if I could smack you across your face I would."

"What happened...? I remember falling-" She tried scrunching her face around, but the pain that jolted through her made her nix that idea pretty quick.

"We had to end the game there, it was chaos when they found you. We could've postponed..."

"Are we gonna rematch...?"

"That's a board decision. I'll email you the stuff tomorrow about the meetings, if you want to argue for it... but we should've just postponed it! We could've called in a sub for you before the game started!" Lola snapped, her voice shaky and hoarse.

"I'm going. This isn't fair to you guys that you miss out because of me-"

"The doctors said they want to do a few tests before they discharge you..."

"Lola-"

"Lola what? I told you, you shouldn't have played in that game. I fucking told you."

"Lola, I check my blood test results today when I get home, and they're clear! It sounds pretty simple!" Natalie sighed.

"IT'S NOT FUCKING SIMPLE, THEY'RE DOING NEW TESTS TODAY-"

"Alright, alright! Let them test."

"If they find that you have a BROKEN NOSE OR SOME SHIT??"

"Move down, there's a seat open."

"I don't want to just move closer to you, Natalie! That's not going to solve the problem! None of your fucking positivity is actually helping!"

"I'm not trying to solve the problem..."

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, HUH? MAKE ME PANIC?"

Silence from Natalie.

"IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO, THEN YOU'RE FUCKING SUCCEEDING. I'M SCARED FOR YOU, WE'RE ALL SCARED FOR YOU, YOUR SISTER IS TERRIFIED."

Natalie refused to answer.

"You're getting treated for whatever... issue this is."

"If that's what you want."

"Everyone around you needs you to get treated..."

"Is that a need, or is that a want?"

"Stop being SELFISH GODDAMMIT- you'd rather take the easy way out at the expense of our health, instead of treating yourself for the good of everyone else."

"You want me to continue suffering, for your own happiness."

"YOU'D RATHER RESIGN YOURSELF TO THIS FATE? WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY- YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR CHANNEL-"

"Every waking moment of my life has been spent thinking about the happiness of others, Lola. Please just let me consider my own feelings this one time. Please."

"THIS ISN'T-"

"It's never been about me. It was never meant to be about me. But I think- no, come here." Natalie pulled Lola in as the two remained in silence. "I love you, Lola, I love you enough to let you go and spread your wings."

...

Next Day

"Yesterday was miserable, ugh-" Natalie sighed, barging into Guinevere's room across the hall. "My gosh, they had me in a hospital room-"