"Love .."

O28

Lamere💙

Is she serious

I walked out of Alyssas dorm feeling like i was left unfinished, like i cant explain it it feels like i never really got an answer or a sign, it feels just like how i think those girls feel when i do the same thing to them and i know that sounds messed up especially since im over here complaining on how she just left me looking dumb. But i never had anyone treat me how i treat them, or when they do do it I barely even notice nor care enough to react so it never really matters

And i committed into something im not sure i can back up, like being in a relationship that's something that im not even sure i can even do, i just basically lied in her face without knowing nor thinking. I just said anything to make her stay

I dont even try and make these kinda commitments to people cus i know i cant back them up, usually i just let em know straight up youn getting that out of me, but today im really ashamed of myself and i know im saying all of this making the empression that since ive realized that im doing something messed up that im going to stop but thats the last thing in my head, and the last thing i want to do

————

The next day came and i had no plans since all of my classes were cancelled so i just went over my older brothers place for a sec, errthang doing good over there its just more quiet since he cut off all of the people that were holding him back and doing him bad in life

"Yo you got some food" i ssked walking in his kitchen

"Yeah its in the fridge" he said

I opened the fridge and pulled out a bag of 5 guys in there

He was sitting at table smoking a blunt

I could feel him staring at me, he could tell something was on my mind

"You still talking to that one shawty jalessa" he asked

There it is

"Mmm nah i guess, its weird ion wanna think about that" i said

"Why we cant talk about it, just a 2 years ago you was running around the city talm bout how you was gonna marry her" he said chuckling

Oh i remember that. But that was when times wss good

I laughed

"Nah that was years ago, ian onna no mo"

"Why, why you not a lover boy no more, dont tell me you let a shawty get in yo head"

"What are you talm bou-

"You got folks questioning me talm bout you playing wit they li sis feelings" he said

Mtch now he finna start tripping out

I smacked my teeth and scratched my head looking somewhere else

"Now you wanna act all clueless, igh watch ya self i bet ole boy already beat yo dumb ah" he said

I smacked my teeth again

"You keep playing lamere I thought you of all people would know not to try and do that f boy ish"

"Mane ian hurting nobody-