The Sorrow in His Eyes: Regretful Husband

Chapter 11

-Adam's POV-

Today was a very important day. Another Monday with my wife and I would do my best this time! Today would be the best of all Mondays and I would make sure of this shit!

Sophie wouldn't know what had hit her when she saw how much I had improved.

I've had a lot of time to think. I have done four sessions of counseling already. It had been very brutal talking about bad shit with the therapist. She asked me if somehow, in my subconscious, I thought Sophie would accept anything from me because she was dependable. Because she didn't have a career like mine. Because she would never be able to survive without my support.

This lady was fucking serious asking me this question?!

What the hell!!?

This therapist was batshit crazy! Of course, I didn't think like that. Everything I had accomplished, everything I had owned, was Sophie also. Without her, I would have not achieved so many things. But for the sake of improving like a man, I had listened to the therapist without questioning her.

But I felt very bad about these questions. It was not a very good feeling.

Along with the counseling, I made three more visits to different places with my brother-in-law and saw things that felt like a punch in my gut. Seeing how miserable some people were living can make a man sobber up from his shit, egoistical ways, pretty damn fast!

In one of those places, I saw a beaten-up lady with three little kids clutched to her side. Her partner, a drunk son of a bitch, was responsible fo her bad shape. I felt sick looking at her haunted eyes and at the little, poorly treated children with her, fighting to survive a terrible, heartbroken situation.

I talked to her and the children a bit and heard about their story of survival. On my way out, I made a good donation to the organization, feeling very incapable because I could not do more than help with money.

So many people suffering in this world, so many abandoned women and innocent kids! And here was I, a fucker thinking about experiencing wild things outside of my marriage, thinking my teammates were having a better time than I; thinking something widely marvelous was just around the corner and I was losing all the fun. Fuck me!

But today it would be different!

I was up very early, did some exercises, took a good long bath, shaved and perfumed myself. Yesterday I had my hair groomed and styled. My white dress shirt was ironed and ready, and I would wear a gray pantsuit. I thought about using the complete set but it looked a bit too much.

A nice watch and my wedding band completed my outfit. I was looking at myself in the mirror, arranging my shirt, fixing my blond hair, wishing like hell I could impress Sophie with my dedication.

I had my folder ready, with the infamous 20-something pages of my sins and more pages with ideas and things I wanted to say to her.

I was dressed and ready to leave but it was just 9 a.m. Fuc***! I dressed too early! Sophie would receive me just at 2 p.m. Hell! I would go crazy waiting in here.

I've decided then to wait nearer our house, not to take the risk of being late. After all, it was just about five hours until our meeting, so it was better for me to wait in there. I didn't want any traffic messing with my program. I wouldn't be late a minute.

I took all the things I might need and included one of the jewelry boxes I had bought for her, just in case she was more willing this afternoon. I wanted to be prepared for all situations. I also had bags of clothes in my trunk, in case she invited me to spend the night. Maybe she would invite me to come back home and I didn't want to waste any minute coming to grab my clothes.