you're what i want | billie eilish

21: terrible at goodbyes.

I woke up to the blaring sound of billies alarm clock. my hand reached over to shake her awake but she immediately grabbed it before i was able to hit her.

"im up." she spoke lowly.

i turned to face her and she was laying flat staring up at the ceiling, seeming to be in deep thought.

"whats wrong baby?" i asked as i moved a little closer to her. 

"i have to leave soon" she mumbled.

"oh baby" i breathed and cuddled into her.

we laid like this for a few minutes until we had to get up and ready to leave. i went to get ariella up and she threw on a pair of slippers before running into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

"downstairs when you're done butterfly!" i told her as i went downstairs.

billie was scanning through her bag making sure she had everything when i came down. i made my way over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist before kissing her cheek. "its only two weeks, it'll be over before you know it." i whispered.

ariella came down not soon after and we all went out to the car. 

the car ride felt short, but it was really a 20 minute drive. when we got to the airport billie wheeled her luggage behind her and ariella and i walked beside her. we went in to find claud, finn and theo. 

they were standing by security waiting for us. my heart dropped at the fact that billie would have to walk through this and i wont be following behind her but instead standing on the other side.

"we have to get going" finn looked at claud, then at me.

billie pulled me over to the side and pulled me into a hug. "sooner than we know baby, i'll be back."

"mhm" i breathed as i pulled away from the hug. we just stared into each others eyes in silence before she leaned in for a kiss.

the second our lips connected a tear fell from my eye, then another, and another until i was full on sobbing into the kiss. i pulled away and wiped my eyes as she went over to ariella and picked her up. 

"i'll see you soon peanut" she held her close to her chest and kissed the top of her head a few times before putting her down. "don't cry mama, we can call you every night" ella smiled.

"how about in the morning? mama will be at shows at night." she bent down to be at ellas level.

"every night?!" her jaw dropped.

"it's okay ella, we'll see mama soon" i said as i picked her up and placed her around my hip. we hugged one last time before billie and finn went through security and claud and i stood on the other side with the kids. 

-

later on, in the day claud and i took the kids out for lunch we decided that we could let them have a little fun day out since their parents just left and it was emotional for everyone.

they were running around playing pirates on the park since they found this ship thing they could play on while claud and i sat on the bench and watched.

-

"alright butterfly, come eat dinner." i said to ella who was sitting on the couch.

she ran into the kitchen and sat in her seat across from me, i finished cutting her her spaghetti and handed her the plate. "thank you mommy" she smiled and took a bite.

after dinner i got her in the bath and let her sit while i went to clean up the kitchen.

my phone pinged while it was on the counter and i rushed over to check it.