I ran to Lando's place. Didn't even realize I was still in my casual clothes.
Didn't matter - he saw me naked so a pretty dress wasn't gonna impress him anymore.
I was waiting in front of his apartment, pacing. Probably shouldn't have come here, wish I thought this over a little bit more.
Too late now.
He walked out of his apartment building. Wearing a hoodie and black pants.
And yes - he looked perfect. As always.
"You okay?" He frowned. I nodded, still pacing. "You sure?"
I nodded again - still not saying anything. Why am I nervous now?
Saw him naked - saw him mad - saw him crying once or twice.
But the same goes for him, he saw me naked, mad and crying as well.
So why was I nervous now?
"Why are you sweating?" He raised his eyebrow. "I ran here"
"You don't run" he said calmly.
I just shrugged.
This is the only thing left - the only thing I could try to fix things between us again.
Be honest and a little vulnerable. Which is pretty hard when you don't trust each other completely.
"I love you Lando" I said - without a second thought because I really did love him. Always did.
He just stared at me. "What?"
"I am in love with you, very much so"
He just keeps looking at me, biting the inside of his cheek a little.
He said nothing.
I said nothing.
"Are you drunk again?"
I shook my head. "No"
This is not the reaction I thought he would have. This isn't going in the right direction.
At all.
I thought he would grab my face with both hands, look in my eyes and kiss me. So passionately, full with love.
Thought he would pick me up, carry me upstairs, cuddle me under the biggest blankets.
I'm a sucker for big fuzzy blankets.
But he did none of that. He just stared at me, looked at me like I was crazy.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Um-" I gave him a weak shrug. "I thought you maybe didn't know?"
"I-I didn't kn-" he shook his head. "I wasn't sure"
I frowned. "How could you not know?"
"Because you broke up with me, dated Charles, moved to the other side of the world without telling me anything, left me for a year"
All valid reasons wasn't it for the fact that he cheated on me with my best friend.
"So?"
"So you don't do that shit when you love someone" he said sharply.
I chuckled, looked down and shook my head.
"This was a mistake" I said under my breath. Turned around and walked away.
Once again he wasn't running after me but this time I wasn't walking extra slow.
I was walking fast, couldn't believe what just happened.
I walked back in my apartment, slammed the door shut, which made Piper look up.
"Wasn't he home?" She asked. "Oh he was home alright"
I walked to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of wine out of it and opened it quickly.
Drinking red wine straight out of the bottle.
"Wait what happened?" Piper got up from the couch and walked up to me.
"Told him I love him" I looked at her before looking back at the bottle. "Doesn't love me back"
I put the bottle against my lips, taking another sip, a big one.
"No Nova, that can't be true" she put her hand on my arm, making me stop drinking.
"It is true Pipes" I looked at her. "He just stared at me, asked me why I was telling him, blamed me for leaving"
"What an asshole" She frowned, grabbed the bottle out of my hand and took a big sip herself. "Gonna be pretty awkward tomorrow then"
"Tomorrow?" I looked at her, trying to remember.
"My birthday" she lowered her head, looking at me in disbelief. "Julian, Lando, me and you were gonna do a little roadtrip"
"Oh" I nodded with a smile. "Right"
A fake smile.
I grabbed the bottle again - emptied it.
It definitely was gonna be awkward.
