Adam stayed for a while, told me I would always have their protection even if Julian wasn't here anymore.
I begged him to let me see him, one last time. He said it was too dangerous.
They didn't do hospitals, they didn't do funerals.
Guess criminals don't deserve that.
He promised me he would kill Jayden and then he left.
I flew back to Monaco with Lando, told Piper what happened.
She cried in my arms, I didn't cry anymore.
I was wrong though, Julian was as loved as I was.
I did the same routine for weeks, went to races with Lando, did a few jobs, slept and repeated the same thing.
Didn't go to our traditional dinners anymore, didn't do the laundry anymore.
I was numb, so fucking numb.
"She's not okay" I heard Lando say from the kitchen while I was laying on the couch. "Yeah I figured" Max replied.
"I am fine" I yelled.
Did they really think I couldn't hear them gossiping?
"You're not fine" Lando yelled back. "I am fine!" I yelled again.
We went back and forth like that a couple of times.
"Okay, then you're coming to dinner tonight" Max said as him and Lando walked in the living room.
I snorted. "Are we still doing those stupid dinners?"
But it wasn't stupid, it was never stupid. It always meant a lot to me.
I just don't know if I was ready to see Julian's empty seat.
Don't think I would ever be ready to see that.
Lando kneeled down in front of me. "Baby, Piper really needs you"
I turned my head at him, looked in his beautiful eyes. He was so patient with me, so soft.
I wasn't only gonna do this for Piper, I was gonna do this for him.
"Fine" I said. "I will go to this stupid tradition dinner"
——————————-
I don't know how I got ready, but I did. Did my makeup, straightened my hair, just like nothing happened.
Lando held my hand as we walked in the restaurant. "If you wanna leave, then tell me okay?"
I nodded.
Everyone was already sitting at the table. Tom, Max and Kelly, Piper,.. and an empty seat.
I bit my lip, holding back my tears.
This is why I didn't do things that reminded me of Julian.
I didn't take my usual seat, I took Julian's - next to Piper.
She needed me and it would remind me less of Julian. I didn't want to look at his empty chair the entire evening.
"Hi babe" I kissed Piper's cheek. "How are you holding up?"
"It's difficult you know" she whispered. "I truly loved him"
"I know" I said, putting my hand on hers.
"He never robbed the museum, he gave your plan to another gang"
He probably suspected I was trying to frame him, lied to Jayden about it too.
"He wanted to quit" she looked down. "For me, for you, for us" she said as she put her hand on her belly.
"Oh my g-" I wrapped my arms around her. "I am so sorry Pipes"
"He would've been such a good dad" she started crying. I felt her tears against my cheek.
And that night after dinner, I cried more than I ever did before.
