live a little - j.birch

f o r t y - f i v e

AN
Not a long chapter like promised - i'm so sorry - but i'm so sure the next chapter will make up for it. let's just say that the next chapter will take place directly after the ending of this one. not skipping over the fun bits like so many of you have hated. this chapter is cute but the next one... well... you'll have to wait and see.

"but i have loved you since i was 8 years old and i don't know what will happen to me if you give up on me. i waited so long for you to notice me and i can't have you forget me again. i love you bells. i always have and always will."

everyone in the room stopped breathing - well, all barring judd. he was erratically bouncing his big green eyes between each of my blues, his breaths ragged and fanning my face with an uneven paces between. i think we all were in an extreme state of shock. judd birch - the coldest, most vindictive bastard this city had seen - was being so vulnerable in this moment. he was trying to be open, something which he was absolutely awful at. he was sharing real emotion, something polar opposite to the rage he always displayed, in front of witnesses. there was no sarcasm or venom in his tone. there wasn't a burning fire of hate behind his pupils. his walls he had reinforced over the years were completely collapsing infront of us all. quicker then he could build them back up.

realising no sound was being made, his grip on my cheeks softened to a ghost of a touch, his legs beginning to unbend.

"waiting for me to notice you?" i chuckled airily, my voice quiet yet almost deafening in a room filled with stunned silence. his brows knotted, mistaking my tone for malice. he opened his mouth to speak, but i didn't allow him to rebuild those walls. "judd, i have liked you for years, you idiot. i literally smoked for the first time trying to impress you." he chuckled at the memory, a genuine small smile gracing his lips. the memory instantly played out in both of our minds. i grabbed both of his hands tentatively, feeling ridiculously vulnerable.

"i liked you even after you made me fall into the pool infront of everyone or when you'd make fun of me when we were little. i liked you when we kissed at leah's 13th birthday. leah literally used to make fun of me all the time for liking you—"

"i did. constantly." she chimed in, a shit eating grin on her face as she did. both judd and i glared lightly at her, which only widened her grin. "you two are so oblivious, it's painful. judd, do you not remember when you literally were spiralling over bella a couple months ago and mumbled something about loving her?" i turned to judd with wide eyes as his cheeks burned. elliott loudly gasped, almost as if watching some wild telenovela.

"i didn't think i said that out loud." he huffed, slightly embarrassed. my mouth turned up at how adorable this usually cold person was being.

"ah, don't think i forgot about you bella!" leah waggled her finger towards me, making me gulp. "i remember when we were younger and i was gushing to you about harry styles and you literally scoffed at me saying he was too basic? that he wasn't edgy enough? and then proceeded to go on a rant about how bands like green day were so much better then one direction just because judd has a green day quote on his bedroom door." now it was my turn to burn red. judd nudged me with his elbows, raising his eyebrows with both amusement and shock. this was diane's turn to giggle into elliott's side, sipping her red wine with glee.

"i remember when judd first met bella and, you would of loved it elliott, he blushed! i had never seen him quite like it, he was just magnetised by her aura!" diane tried to whisper but the excitement overwhelmed her. judd rubbed the back of his neck, obviously remembering the encounter.

"please, can you both just get together so the rest of us can celebrate you both finally have stopped being so blind?" leah huffed, her warm blue eyes bouncing between us both. judd looked down at me. i looked up at him.

"do you think you can put up with me?" he sheepishly asked, very much so resembling his younger self when we first met. i gnawed at my lip for a moment.

"do you think you can actually open up to me? and not run away from our feelings?" he nodded quickly, pulling me up to my feet by my hands.

"anything you want to know, i'll tell you. i'm sick of pretending to not feel anything towards you bella. i want you. and not just sexually. i want you to talk to at all hours of the day. i want you to proof read my manifesto. i want you to tell your friends their celebrity crushes are basic because you only like homicidal weirdos, like me." i grinned at how cheesy he was being, yet still completely himself. i grabbed his grey shirt and pulled him into me, our lips crashing onto each other with such velocity i'm sure those in the room would be burnt from the fireworks erupting from us.

"i love you judd birch." i spoke into his mouth, to which he smirked. he placed one last kiss on my mouth before pulling back.

"say it again." he commanded. i rolled my eyes playfully but complied. "again." he grinned with his sharp white teeth on display. i giggled and did so. "come on." he grabbed my hand and dragged me from the dining room and up the stairs.

"what are you doing?" i laughed, letting him pull me along. he threw a smirk over his shoulder.

"consummating our relationship, if you're saying you'll be my girlfriend." we paused outside his bedroom door. i kissed him again, a short but sweet one.

"why didn't you ask me this years ago?" i let him pull me into his room, the door slamming behind us as we did. it was obvious that we had gone upstairs to do this, though i can imagine three of the four people downstairs were proud.

"say it again." judd instructed as he pulled his shirt off.

"i love you, judd birch." his body looked more relaxed then ever. he wasn't holding any resentment or anger in this moment.

"i love you too, isabella. now, be a good girl and get your ass on my bed."