live a little - j.birch

t h i r t y - s i x

*cheeky little flashback in isabella's POV*

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i quickly checked my reflection in the window to leah's front door to make sure i didn't look like utter shit. leah invited me round to sleep tonight which meant i would be seeing judd, her completely gorgeous older brother. he wasn't like most 13 year olds really. he was aggressive and swore at his parents and i think i've seen him ordering knives online a few times. he wasn't very nice but something about him made my heart stop.

"were you going to just keep staring at yourself in the window or knock?" i was snapped from my thoughts as i made eye contact with dark green eyes. he was a decent amount taller then me and his voice had recently done the shift from slightly squeaky to gravely with the occasional voice break.

"uh— no! i was about to knock i was just—" he cut my stuttering mess of a sentence off with a scoff and an eye roll.

"i don't give a fuck." he walked away from the door, though i just managed to catch it before it closed. i huffed, pushing it open and closing it behind myself. the house was silent except a song judd was listening to in the kitchen so i plucked up the courage to follow after him.

"where's leah? or your parents?" i chewed on the inside of my mouth nervously, watching him search through the cupboards for something. finally, he found what he was looking for on top of the cupboard over the sink.

"out. they'll be home soon." he grunted, fishing out a cigarette from the box he found on top of the cupboard. he sparked it with a jet black clipper which had 'j.b' scratched onto it with a switchblade most likely. i gulped watching him. cigarette smoke made me feel sick but watching him smoke made my insides crawl in a good way. he noticed me staring and cocked up an eyebrow.

"what?" he always spoke in a monotone voice but the gravely tone made it sound sexy.

"oh, nothing." my cheeks burned, completely embarrassed he caught me staring.

"did you want a smoke?" he gestured to the cigarette in his hand. i shrugged, twirling a strand of my hair.

"i've never smoked before to be honest." i mumbled, feeling extremely lame. he clearly thought the same as he let out a humourless chuckle.

"i knew you was just another dork." i folded my arms over my chest and stropped over to him, my embarrassment mixed with annoyance giving me a confidence boost.

"show me how then." we had a mini staring contest, both of us glaring up at each other. finally, a smirk settle on his face.

"wrap your lips around this part, inhale the smoke and when you come off the cigarette you inhale it more then breathe it out." he explained, finally holding the cigarette butt towards me. i went to reach for it but he slapped my hand away. i gave him a confused look until he held the cigarette in between my lips whilst i followed his instructions. i ended up spluttering the smoke out, but not hating it as much as i thought.

"yeah, you're lame. you can't even smoke without coughing." my nose crinkled in anger as i groaned and tore the cigarette from his fingers. i held it to my mouth and smoked it again, holding in my cough this time. i maintained eye contact as i smoked the entirety of the cigarette, finally looking away to flick away the butt. he raised his eyebrow at me, almost as if he was challenging me.

"try hard." he snorted, finally bumping shoulder against mine as he stalked off upstairs. i ran a hand through my hair, actually stunned from my actions. how did i just smoke a whole cigarette and enjoy it. i noticed he had left the pack on the countertop, which was practically staring at me. i glanced back at the stairs before swiping the pack and pocketing it, deciding this was something i wanted now.

how did i go from being terrified of judd birch to challenging him when he called me a dork and now stealing his cigarettes? fuck me.