After You Left

Chapter 35

I needed to get this clothes off, God, everything felt dirty and it too stuck to my body, Elijah had given me his coat, I wanted to burn and skin him alive. We got home and I didn't even bother waiting for the two of them, I was already getting in the house. Damien had been pacing across the hall but I couldn't bring myself to look at him and walked past him, I heard him asking Elijah for details as I practically ran the rest of the way to my room.

Despite tonight being a success, I feel used and disgusting and tears well in my eyes, I blink rapidly willing them to go away as I strip off all my clothes, I run a hot bath not bothering to check the temperature and submerge in it, my head goes quiet, I go under the water, letting everything go.

I hear a knock on the door, than another, than another, but my thoughts were already too far gone until I was pulled out of the water. I pushed Damien off me, he reached for me again and wrapped his arms around me, I struggled, I pushed him over and over and over. "Let go of me." I hiss biting down on his arm, he still held.

"Stop fighting me please." He pleads and with every attempt I slow down, until I stop, until I give up and slack against him. "That's right, I've got you now." He ran his hand over my head. "Breathe. Breathe with me." I didn't want to follow but my body followed in instinct. "Let's get you up alright." His voice was gentle, caring.
I nodded and and stood up letting him wrap a towel around.

Damien handed me one of his shirts and I slid it over my head before walking past him and laying on the bed. I heard Damien rustling around and I pulled the duvet over my head, a few short seconds later the bed dipped behind me and Damien's arms wrapped around me as he pulled me closer.
I turned around and curl against Damien who presses a kiss on my head, his lips lingering there, I was so tired, so exhausted, so drained and sleep beckoned for me to give up. "I hate you." I say softly. "So much."

Damien merely tightens his hold on me and says. "Sleep, I'll still be here when you wake up." I had clutched his shirt tight in my fists, I don't want him to just be a dream so I don't let go, even after I fall asleep I hold on like my life depends on it because right now it does.

When I wake up long after the sun has risen, I find us still holding each other, our hearts a symphony, our bodies molded together as though we were meant to be since the stars and the universe came into existence. For a few minutes, I let my heart soar with the possibility of a maybe.
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"So we have another hand on our side?" Liv asks hopeful and Elijah gives her a nod, things between us were still tense after last night and Liam hasn't come down for breakfast.
"Who else is left?" Drew asks.

"Just one more." My head snaps to Elijah and yet he is only staring at Drew, beside me Damien scoffs.

"And what do you intend on doing next? Take my wife to a club and force to dance with someone?" There was pure and raw venom in Damien's voice and it stunned me, Liv raised an eyebrow at me and I mouthed a later before turning to Elijah.

"This other one? What do they have to offer?" I ask keeping my attention on the eggs in my plate.
A beat of silence passed between the table before Elijah talked again. "Since Mark will be our access to arms, Veronica is our tech girl, she's got some great skills when it comes to tech and she's often at her father's club just on the edge of the city." That's almost a whole hour drive, maybe more. "I will let her know we're dropping by tonight." I nodded.

"Can I come with?" Alexa asks and I catch the glare her brother sends her way, Elijah agrees and a smile burst on her face.
I catch a quick sneak to Damien and he's eating, the rage from a few seconds ago is completely gone replaced with a calm and unknown expression, I frown confused and go back to my own breakfast.

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I stare at the plate of cookies Liv and I just baked with a smile, it has been so long since we did anything together so this is the most peaceful thing in my life. "Since we're done with our masterpiece, are you going to tell me exactly what's going on between you and Damien?"

I sigh pulling myself on the counter and gesturing for Liv to do the same as I place the plate of cookies between us. "We had a big argument yesterday, we're not exactly seeing eye to eye."

Liv frowns. "How so?"

"He doesn't want me to die, I don't want anyone else I love and care for to die." I say with a shrug.

Liv takes a hold of my hand. "Maybe you both need to take sometime for yourselves and talk, you've been through a lot, he's been through a lot, you're both very different people but you both still love each other."
I wipe my tears and sniffle and Liv instantly pulls me to her chest. "I told him some mean things."

"It's fine, it doesn't matter." Liv tries to comfort.

"And he was right, I had been thinking them for some time and it eats me up, I never wanted any of this, I just want to be home, I want to be married and have a family far away from all this." I sob against my best friend. "Everything hurts and I don't know what to do or how to fix it."

Liv pulls back and wipes at my cheeks with a soft smile. "Oh Lea, it hurts to see how much you're hurting but you can't give up, you can't change how things happened but you can take control of the present and do what you think is right and soon all this will be over and I promise you, Damien will still be with you and still love you for who you are and you both will go live in that small town that you both loved and have your family but for now, you must keep hoping and keep being the brave woman you always have been since we were in school."

I burst a chuckle in between my sobs. "It's hard to think high school was only 3 years ago."

Liv giggles. "In my opinion, I'm glad it ended, I couldn't handle another day in there."

I throw my arms around her. "I love you, I love you so much. I won't let anything every happen to you."

Liv hugs me back. "I love you too." Than she pulls back. "Now maybe you and Damien should go out for a bit, stay the night at a hotel."
I nod getting down from the counter. "Take a break alright and we should do this again."
I laugh and give her one last hug before taking a few cookies with me on a plate.

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I stop in the living room first where I found Elijah going through some papers. "Can we delay tonight's mission, put it on for tomorrow night?"

Elijah looks up from his papers and raises his brow at me. "No, we're running thin on time."

I scoff. "Allow me to rephrase my words. Delay tonight's mission, I have something else I need to do." Elijah smirks and nods, I'm doing a mental cheer dance in my brain as I walk back to the room.

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"We're going out today." I say as soon as I enter the room, Damien had been going through his phone and didn't say anything, I bite my tongue to keep from snapping and get closer to the bed placing the plate on the bed. "I'm not going to apologise for the words I spoke and I don't want you to apologise neither." Damien looked up with a frown and I pushed the plate of cookies toward him. "But we are still going out tonight."

Damien took a deep breath. "And where exactly would we go princess? And why should I say yes?" Despite the usual nickname, I found myself hating the way Damien said it and a part of me wants to quit this thing.

"Please stop being an ass and go out with me, we're going on a road trip and I'm driving us." I retort getting up from the bed and moving to the closet to pack a pair of pyjamas and a pair of clothes in my backpack. "I'm leaving in 5 minutes if you choose to come." I hated what we had become but Liv's words ring in my head. "And for the sake of our marriage, I hope you come."

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Another chapter people 💁‍♀️
I go with the flow in this book