I'll Be Your Light In The Darkness [brustoff]

Chapter Two

Trigger Warning - mentions of self harm and anorexia

 Danny POV:

 "Danny Babe" whimpered Ben as he wrapped his arms around me. Wait did he just whimper? I turned around wrapping my arms around Ben in response. He looked incredibly pale and he was swaying side to side slightly. "Ben what's wrong?" I asked as I began to worry.I watched as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell limp in my arms. "Ben?...BEN?!" I shouted. 

 Can, Sam and James turned around to look at me before rushing over to us. "What's happened?" Asked Sam."I-I don't know he just collapsed!" "Lie him on the floor" commanded Cam as I placed him onto the floor."Did Ben say anything to you before he came here?" I asked James."well when I got onto the bus he was in the bathroom and I could hear him throwing up I asked him about it and he just said he's hungover" he explained."But he didn't drink last night""That's what I said to him but he responded with that he apparently drank when he got on the bus last night""He's lying because when we got onto the bus he went straight to bed I watched him go to bed" I responded. I now began to grow worried, was he not well? I mean it would probably make sense because of his recent behaviour."I don't know if this has anything to do with this but when was the last time you guys have seen Ben eat?" Asked Cam. 

 I have noticed that the clothes on Ben seemed to get bigger and bigger and even in hot weather he would wear long sleeve shirts. To be honest I can't remember the last time I had seen Ben eat.Hesitating I reached over and gently pulled Ben's shirt up. I gasped at what I saw. Oh Ben what were you doing to yourself? He looked incredibly pale and skinny and his ribcage was beginning to show it wasn't a lot but I was getting there. "Guys I think Ben's....""Anorexic?" Asked CamI slowly nodded my head in response. I didn't want to accept it but at the same time I knew if I kept going in denial about it, it would result in his death and it would be on my hands.

 I quickly pulled his shirt back down as he began to wake up. "Ben? Ben can you hear me?" I asked.James ran over to grab his bottle of water passing it to me. Gently I pulled Ben up and placed the bottle to his mouth as he drank the water. As he began to fully gain conciseness he grabbed the water bottle from my hand drinking a little before placing the bottle back down."W-what happened?" He asked"Ben you fainted....we don't think it's a good idea for you to play tonight" I responded."What?! No I'm fine I'm completely fine I don't need to sit out!....Danny please don't make me sit out!" He argued.I turned to look at the others unsure of what to do. 

 We eventually decided to let Ben play on stage that night but we made him sit on a chair the whole time with the guitar on his lap. I explained to the audience that Ben didn't feel very well and the audience seemed to understand.After the show me and Ben decided to head back to the bus while everyone else went out. I wanted answers .....no I needed answers. We both sat in silence I was just thinking what was I going to say?

 "What wrong Ben?" I asked breaking the silence."What do you mean?""You fainted today Ben and we've noticed you've not been yourself recently" I responded."I'm fine I'm just tired that's all" denied Ben."James told us that you told him that you were hungover....you didn't drink last night Ben""What?....he's lying" he lied.  

"Don't bullshit me Ben!" I raised my voice as I got off the couch and stood in front of him. "You haven't been yourself Ben you've been distant from me, you won't drink anymore and to be honest I can't remember the last time you ate Ben!!"Ben bit his lip "I'm fine just home sick that's all""And there you go lying again! You anorexic Ben admit it!" I shouted.I watched as he gulped standing up to face me "I'm not anorexic you dumb fuck!" He spat.I scoffed as I shook my head "when you fainted I pulled your shirt up your fucking skin and bone Ben!" His eyes widened "I've had enough of this I'm going to bed" he muttered walking off to the bunks. 

"Are you hiding something else?" I asked following him behind. He didn't respond. Harshly I grabbed him by the wrist turing him to face me. "ANSWER ME BEN ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING ELSE!!?" I shouted. He yelp in pain which caused me to look at his wrist. Slowly I pulled his sleeve down exposing the cuts and scars that we're underneath.Fighting back my tears I let go of his wrist and pulled open the curtain to his bunk grabbing his small toiletries bag. "Danny what are you doing Danny?!" Called Ben after me as I walked into the bathroom. Opening his bag I poured all his contents into the sink rummaging until I found what I was looking for. I picked up the small blade hovering it over the toilet. Ben's eyes widened as he saw what I had in my hands.Without hesitation I dropped the blade down the toilet and flushed. The toilet was probably fucked up but anything was better than Ben self harming.......