How To Survive A Horror Movie

111-121

111. If your girlfriend is a hot cheerleader, dump her for the weird chick that nobody likes. Weird chicks never get killed, cheerleaders always die.

112. A good strategy is to say “No! Kill me instead!” That way, the killer will leave you alone and murder everbody else. Reverse psychology works wonders.

113. Don’t make friends with rednecks or hillbillies unless you want to be down on all fours, squealing like a pig.

114. Never make a plan, because your plan will take into account everything that could possibly happen, except for the one thing that actually happens.

115. If you throw away a doll and come home to find it waiting for you, immediately leave the country. There is no other way to get rid of it.

116. If the calls are coming from inside the house, get outside the house.

117. When you find a strange weapon, immediately grab it. Later on, this will be the only weapon capable of killing the monster.

118. If you are shooting at a monster with a big gun and it has no effect, don’t take out a smaller gun and start shooting.

119. If a girl with long black hair starts crawling out of your TV, hit the OFF button on the remote before she gets all the way out.

120. If you’re being chased by a killer and you meet one of your friends and they ask “what’s wrong?”, don’t stop to explain. Just shout “Cantstoptotalkkillerchasingmeseeyoulater” as you pass by.

121. If all else fails, make friends with the villain and help him kill everyone else. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.