I Would

Chapter 20

-Amanda's P.O.V-

"What?" Louis whispered. His face was becoming pale and he looked like he was going to throw up. I just sat there in shock, John's words still sinking in. Tears were slowly streaming down my face. I knew what John told me was the truth. My dad's capable of many things. Murder being one of them.

But killing his own son? His first born? My brother?! I was very close with Tommy. We would always play pranks on each other when we were younger and share secret jokes that our parents would never understand. Then my dad left and we started to become more distant. My father's departure didn't really affect me or my mom, since all he did was cause problems. But it was very hard on Tommy. He started taking anti-depressants and would always lock himself in his room. He left for college about a year and a half after my dad left. He hadn't come to visit since he left. I only talked to him when he would call on my birthday. Now I would never see him or hear from him again.

I never understood why my brother was so sad when my dad left. I still didn't. Why would my brother miss someone that made our lives a living hell?

I started to wonder if Tommy was really at college, or if he went looking for our father.

The tears were coming faster now. Louis didn't bother trying to console me. He couldn't tell me it was okay, because it wasn't. He just sat there with a look of shock and confusion on his face.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to stop crying. I have put Louis through so much. The least he deserved was an explanation.

I began to speak. "My dad used to go to the bar a lot. He would get in many bar fights and would come home drunk. Whenever he did that, my mom would tell him to leave and come back when he was sober. Sometimes he wouldn't come back for a few days. We didn't know where he would go or what he was doing. I guess I know now" I sighed, remembering that John said my dad was a drug dealer. I knew I shouldn't believe anything that the psychopath told me, but this, I believed. I gulped before continuing.

"One time, he came back when my brother and I were already asleep. My mom was still up watching t.v. I woke up when I heard a crash, like glass breaking. Being the heavy sleeper that he was, my brother didn't hear anything. I ran downstairs to see my mom standing with her back against the kitchen counter. There was a broken beer bottle on the floor. My dad was standing close to her with a knife held to her throat. I stopped walking when I got to the bottom of the stairs, not knowing what to do. He started yelling at her. H-he said, 'If you call the police, I swear, I'll kill you!'" I started to stutter, the memory hitting me like a train. I took a deep breath, trying to regain some composure.

"M-my mom was trying to reason with him, telling him that she had to call the cops. Tha-that murder wasn't something you could just hide and run away from. My dad killed someone! He was just about to slit my mom's throat when I yelled, 'Stop!' He turned around to look at me and told me to go to bed, but I didn't move. I told him that I would make sure my mom didn't say anything, and that we would forget everything that just happened. Since he was obviously drunk, he believed me. He left, saying that he was never coming back. I went back to bed as soon as he left, hoping that I would wake up the next morning and all of that was just a dream. But it wasn't. I called the cops as soon as I woke up. They found the body and searched for my dad for over a year. They never found him. Sure, my dad was an idiot, but he was also very clever. He wouldn't run away without making sure that he wouldn't be found. It turned into a cold case and the police moved on to other things. We moved on, too, never hearing from my dad again. Then my brother left for college, and it was just me and my mom. Everything was good, until I started dating John. And you know the rest" I took a deep breath and stopped talking.

I looked into Louis' eyes. Tears were threatening to spill over his beautiful turquoise orbs. The look of sadness was plain on his face.

"I-I'm sorry" he whispered. I started to cry again. I couldn't help it. My life was a mess. Here I am, tied to a chair, where I was put by my bipolar ex-boyfriend, who just told me that my dad killed my brother.

And I somehow managed to drag Louis into all of that.

Louis. The only thing that made sense in my crazy life. The only person that made me believe that there was still hope. It's my fault that he's also here, tied to a chair. It's my fault that he might die.

"No. I'm sorry, Louis. You don't deserve to be here. It's all my fault. I knew my retarded past would somehow come back and cause trouble, but I still agreed to date you. I'm so stupid. I should've just ignored my feelings. I should've-"

"Stop" Louis said, cutting me off. "Don't you dare question our relationship for a second. Amanda, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I would go through anything for you. You know that, right? This is going to sound really cheesy, but I would die for you, and that's probably what's gonna happen" he paused, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"I love you, Amanda."

He said it. Those three little words that both of us had been to scared to say. Those three little words that can change everything.

"I-I love you, too" I said, staring into his eyes. I meant it. I loved him more than he would ever understand.

Louis' eyes widened slightly. We sat there in silence for a few minutes, but it wasn't an awkward silence. We were just letting the words that we both just said sink in.

All of a sudden, Louis smiled. "I haven't lost hope yet, you know. John isn't all bad. I don't know if you noticed, but I'm pretty sure he has a personality disorder. My cousin had a personality disorder, so I'm quite familiar with it. If we try to talk some sense into his good side, maybe he'll let us go" he said, his eyes lighting up hopefully.

I smiled sadly. I admired Louis' hopefulness, but I highly doubted that John would let us go. Not after the information he gave me. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

His smile turned into a grin. "I have a plan."