Breaking Resistance

Chapter 27

He's silent for a while.
Part of me is relieved and part of me feels like my chest is about to collapse.

"You can't do this?" He asks me, and I can feel him move closer. But he refrains from touching me.
"This isn't what I want." I swallow lowly, trying to keep my voice even.

"I think you do want me Drea. You want this. You just can't allow yourself to because you don't want to want me." He replies, and his words make my heart stop.

"No." I tell him. Barely a whisper.
"Tell me then. What do you want?"
"Space. I need space from you. Just leave me the fuck alone." I tell him, still unable to even look at him.

"Look at me Drea." He says firmly.
I take a deep breath, sitting up.
I move my arms to cover my bare chest, even though he's looking  me straight in the eyes.

He seems to notice cause he grabs his shirt off the floor nearby, tossing it to me.
I put it on, waiting for whatever he had to say.

He leans down, grabbing something from beside his bed.
"You want to me to leave you alone Drea? Here. Take this"
He looks me dead in the eyes as he hands me his gun.

"I'll never fucking stop wanting you so if you want me gone, go on. Take the shot."
He just stands there watching me as my hand trembles, holding onto it.

"It's loaded." I breathe out, looking up at him.
"I know. I loaded it."

My eyes water as I look at him,
"I can't just-"

"Yes you can. You've said yourself you hate me. That I'm a bad man. If you think you'd be better off with me out of your life then pull the trigger Drea. Because I can't leave you alone while I'm still breathing."
My breathing is ragged at I watch him wait.

And I can't do this. I can't even hold this gun at him without shaking.
"You can't make me choose between letting you have me or killing you." I get out, my voice strained.

He just stares at me, observing.
"I'm giving you a way out."
A sob leaves my chest, and I put the gun down.

I look down into my lap, and I feel the weight of him sit down beside me, wiping the tears off my face.
"Don't cry over me princess" he whispers

He pulls me into his chest, making me cry harder.
He runs his fingers through my hair, and I can't believe he thinks he can comfort me after what he just did.
"I hate you." I tell him, the words muffled against his chest.

I hated him for making me like this.
For putting me in this position.
For bringing me to this fucking house.

"I can live with that. But I can't live without you. I'd say I'm sorry but I don't think I am." He tells me.

"Why are you doing this to me? What the fuck did I do to deserve this?" I shrug his arms off me, so that he's forced to look me in the eyes.
I wanted an answer.

"You didn't do anything. It's always been you for me Drea. I distanced myself when your brother got caught cause you were so heartbroken. I didn't want to make things worse for you and your brother. But ever since you brought me back into your life Drea... I can't leave it alone anymore." He explains

"I didn't try and bring you back into my life Kain! I never wanted that. I called you because I had no other option." I nearly scream

"You think I don't know that? I don't want to be like this Drea. But somehow, when it comes to you, nothing else fucking matters."
He tilts my chin up,
"Any rational voice in the back of my mind is drowned out by a thousand thoughts about you Drea. Thoughts that only subside when I have you in my arms."

I back away from him, almost as if I can escape his words.
As if they weren't burned into my mind the moment he said them.

I needed out of this room.
Fast.
"I need air"
I rush out of the room, heading downstairs.
I went out behind the house, knowing Kain's property was big enough to walk around for a while.
Hopefully long enough to figure out how to think about anything else besides everything that just happened.

He won't ever let me go.
He said that.

By the time I had walked around the forest that surrounded the house, my stomach was aching so badly for food I couldn't avoid it any longer.
It was probably well into the afternoon and I hadn't had anything to eat or drink.
I had too much going on to even think about that.

I make it back inside the house, and when I do I find my favorite takeout on the kitchen counter. No Kain in sight.

If he thought that this would make up for everything he was damn wrong, but I couldn't let it go to waste.
Especially when it's exactly what I'm craving.

I had no idea if Kain had left or not but I couldn't care at the moment.

Maybe he's actually smart enough to give me a minute to breathe after telling me to shoot him and then explaining that he's irrevocably fucking obsessed with me.

I see he also took some books out that I had in my old room, setting them by the couch.

When I finished eating, I made my way over, lying back and opening up one of them.
If I didn't distract myself from my current situation I think I'd go insane.

I sat there and read until my reality faded away and my body sunk into the couch.
Until I felt my eyes closing shut and the exhaustion from the day washing over me.
And finally sleep came to me.